The Things We Used To Share

TW- use of the word "hell", abusive relationship (not physically), crying, lots of angst, fem!Logan, tell me if there's anything else I need to add.

Enjoy! :)

Logan sank to his knees. What did he do wrong? He and Dee were just walking and talking until he blew up at Logan. It wasn't even the first time that week either. Logan sobbed into his hands. What was it that Deceit wanted from him? He knew the relationship was toxic, that was for sure, but he knew it would break his heart if it wasn't preserved. He wanted so badly to save the unhealthy relationship that all the logic and everything he stood for went out the window.

Logan peeked between his fingers at what he was wearing. It was a pleated black skirt overtop of black leggings with a few intentional holes sewn into the fabric. The dark blue vintage NASA graphic t-shirt speckled with little white stars that he had tucked into the skirt was starting to get soaked with tears, and the black straps he wore over top of the shirt were starting to slip off his shoulders.

Too girly, Janus had said. Too emotional. If you want us to last, you better own up to who you are- Logic. Not Morality, not Empathy, or even one of the Creative Twins, Logic. You will never be anything more. Now go to your room.

Logan hadn't gone to his room, but he had run away from Janus. He was currently sitting out in front of the Mind Palace porch, watching as the sun shone above the far off trees that parted to reveal a well-trodden path that led to the Imagination. Thomas was still fairly young, only 16, but with what was going on inside of his head he was becoming far more stressed and worried about all sorts of relationships- friendships, family bonding, and romantic relationships between himself and a partner.

That was the other thing. Deceit was starting to gain more control of Thomas with him being in highschool. Thomas was lying and hiding his emotions more, so naturally he was working himself up to the head of the table. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Janus knew that the bigger the role he played in Thomas, the more that he would be working, and he was doing a number of things to the other sides by being at the top.

Without Morality being in total control, Thomas was starting to lose himself. He knew that he liked boys, hence Logan and Deceit's relationship, but he had always been told that he liked girls. Anxiety was afraid of what people would think if they knew that about Thomas, and much to Logan's dismay, Janus did everything in his power to make sure that Anxiety would be satisfied. And that was a lot of power.

Maybe that's where it all started. Maybe it was when Logan finally confronted Janus about Anxiety and what was going on between them. Maybe it was when instead of consoling Logic and telling him that there was nothing between him and the anxious side and he got all defensive and mad was when it should have become clear to Logan what was really going on. Janus didn't love him. Everytime that he had told Logan that he loved him was when Logan was underneath him or if he wanted something from him. Janus didn't love him. Not the way that he loved Janus.

As Logan realised all of this he was filled with a seething rage. He was played like a pawn, and he wasn't going to have that. He stood up abruptly and took off his glasses while he furiously wiped at his tears and summoned a makeup wipe and mirror to make sure that all of the mascara that had been streaming down his face was gone. He debated redoing his makeup, but then decided not to.

Once he felt presentable, he sent the supplies away with the flick of his hand and strode confidently back into the house. He felt a feeling of pride swell in his chest as he saw Deceit at the kitchen counter with his head in his hands.

"Deceit," Logan said sharply as he reached the kitchen table. Logan felt a pinch of fear in his chest when Janus looked up at him, causing him to feel a bit nervous. You know what, maybe this was a bad idea, a little voice in the back of his head said. No, no it's not, it has to be done at some time or another otherwise I'm going to go insane. We're already two feet in, I'm not backing out now. Logan shook the thoughts out of his head as he approached Janus. He looked up at the man that had been emotionally abusing him for too long.