So Kara focused on what had been working so far: foot massages.
Ash had really taken to giving foot massages; embracing the task with more than the usual level of enthusiasm. She seemed keenly interested in learning how to give Kara pleasure, and was doing it because she wanted her governess to be happy and not out of fear of punishment. These were healthy motivations, and Kara wanted to encourage more of the same.
"I was thinking we might explore something different, if you're up to it?" Kara said on Sunday evening after Ashley had again offered a foot massage.
"Yes, Miss, of course. What would you like to do?" She gazed attentively up from her cushion on the floor.
"Well, you've become really good at foot massages, and in such a short time. I have to admit you picked it up way faster than I did when I started."
"I think you're just a good teacher," Ashley said, but smiled at the compliment nonetheless.
"What would you think about learning to do a full-body relaxation massage?"
"Sure, I'd like that."
"It would be more intimate than the foot massage. The one getting the massage is naked under a towel, and the massage covers the whole body, from neck to toes." Kara watched her ward's face, alert for any hesitation or anxiety.
"Okay." Her expression was eager, even excited.
"I'd like to demonstrate it tonight. How do you feel about being naked in front of me?"
She saw it then - Ash's eyes widened just a little as a flicker of nervousness passed over her face, then it was gone, buried deep within her again. But it was enough for Kara to know that Ash didn't like the idea, even if she'd never admit it.
But Ashley surprised her.
"Um...can I be honest, Miss?"
"Always be honest."
She hesitated, then started slowly. "I want to learn how to do a full-body massage for you. I like to make you feel good, and I like how it feels when we're together and I'm touching you. Intimate, as you said before. I really like that."
"Okay."
The pause was longer this time, then Ash looked away and started to fidget with her fingers.
"It's just that my body is kind of...awful. It's embarrassing, and...gross. I don't want you to see it."
"That's fine. There's no pressure. I think a lot of women have concerns about their body image, especially when they're young."
"If...if you command me to be naked, of course I'll do it."
"I'm not going to do that."
Ash sighed miserably and her shoulders sagged. Kara could tell it was killing her to refuse. On the other hand, the fact that she was expressing her honest feelings counted as a win, right? Progress!
Kara leaned down, cupped Ashley's chin and tilted her face up so she could see the younger woman's pretty eyes.
"It's important to me that you feel comfortable and safe. It's normal to be shy about your body, so I don't want you to worry."
"It's not that I'm shy. Chad saw me naked all the time and so did his friends - he kept me naked a lot. I'm kind of used to it. But...you're the one person I don't want to see it. And that's really bad, since you're the one who has the right to see it, you know? I'm just being stupid."
Kara was quiet as she tried to figure out what to say next. Ash didn't want to be naked but it clearly bothered her a lot to refuse. Did all dominants run into so many lose-lose situations?
"Would it bother you to tell me why you don't want me to see it?"
"There are tattoos. Bad ones. Piercings, too. Like this one," she touched the septum ring that rested against her top lip.
"I've seen the tattoo on your neck. Are the other ones like that?"
"Worse. A lot worse."
"Maybe we should look into getting them removed."
Ashley's eyes went wide. "We can remove them?"
"Well, yes. They do it with lasers."
"Chad said they were permanent."
Kara shrugged. "I'm pretty sure they can be removed. If you want, we can go to a dermatologist and see for sure."
"Oh, wow! That would be amazing!"
Kara had never seen Ashley so excited and it brought a smile to her face.
"And if you don't like your piercings, we can take them out as well."
"The guy welded them on. They don't come off."
Kara leaned in close and held Ash's nose ring between thumb and index finger to examine it. Her face had never been so near to Ashley's before, and Kara felt a momentary thrill of excitement at the closeness and intimacy of the contact. She wondered if Ash felt it too.
"It's not a weld; it's solder. And anyway, I've got wire cutters in the workshop that would make short work of a ring like this. We could probably get it off tomorrow if you wanted."
And then, Kara kissed her on the cheek.
She hadn't intended to, it just...happened. Their proximity, Ash's excitement and vulnerability, the gentle touch...somehow a kiss just felt right. She realized what she'd done and sat back on the seat to gauge Ashley's reaction. Kara hoped she hadn't crossed any lines.
Ash was wide-eyed with surprise - or was it wonder - and didn't say anything for a few moments. Then she raised her hand and trailed her fingertips over the cheek where Kara's lips had been.
"Thank you, Miss."
Kara gave her a sheepish grin. "I couldn't resist. I know I should have asked first..."
"No, you don't have to ask. It's fine. It felt...good."
"Then I might do it again sometime," Kara said, putting a little tease into her voice.
"Thank you."
Kara eased herself back into the back cushion of the couch. "I don't suppose that foot massage is still a possibility?" She raised her foot and wiggled her toes.
There were a few quiet moments.
"Miss, would you please teach me how to do a full-body massage? I'm ready."
"It's okay, Ash. You shouldn't feel pressured to-"
"I want to," Ashley said, her voice uncharacteristically firm.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded.
Kara hesitated, unsure if it was the right call.
"Okay, if you're sure you're comfortable with it. I'm going to get some things. Meet me in your room."
Ash stood and went to her room and Kara went to get her shoe box full of massage supplies and three thick massage towels from the closet. She changed out of her comfy sweater and sweat pants and into a tank top and workout shorts. She also nudged the temperature up a couple of degrees; the apartment was warm but not 'lying around naked' warm.
She entered the guest room to find Ashley standing next to her bed, looking apprehensive, still fully dressed. Kara gave her a smile she hoped was reassuring.
"I'll pull the comforter off the bed and put down a towel. Why don't you get out of your clothes?"
Without waiting for a response, Kara folded the comforter and set it on a nearby chair, then spread the soft, over-sized towel over the mattress, carefully smoothing out any creases. Behind her, she could hear the rustle of clothing being removed.
"They're off," Ashley said, the nervousness in her tone was obvious.
Kara turned and, for the first time, set eyes on Ashley's naked body.
She was slim; maybe 'skinny' was a better word. There was no fat on her and her ribs and hip bones showed under her pale skin. Her shoulders and arms were thin and the muscle there toned and lean. Her breasts were small and perky, and inch-wide silver hoops dangled from her pink, pebble-sized nipples. She had a flat stomach, and a small, silver chain hung down from a navel ring and ended in a silver dog tag. A two-week growth of black stubble shaded her pubic mound. And just above that, in half-inch black lettering, the word 'Fucktoy' had been inked into her skin.
Kara's eyes must have lingered on the tattoo because Ashley dropped her hand self-consciously to hide it, blushing a deep red.
"Chad got that done on his birthday. It hurt so bad...for two hours I had to just sit there, showing everything..."
Kara nodded slowly, imagining how it must have felt. "We'll see someone about removing it, if you'd like. A doctor - someone professional."
"Thank you."
Ash closed her eyes and took a breath, then slowly turned away. On the small of her back, just above the crease of her buttocks, another black tattoo read 'Anal whore'.
"Oh, Ash," Kara whispered, heartbroken for the younger woman. What had she endured in the name of misplaced hope?
"That one was punishment for complaining too much when one of his friends was...inside me. Inside my...you know. Chad said...the punishment should fit the crime."
Kara just stared, stunned.
Ashley sobbed and swiped her wrist over her eyes. "I didn't think it was fair because...I really tried hard to be quiet. But it was so painful..." the last word ended in a high-pitched whimper as she broke down completely.
Kara snatched the comforter off the chair and wrapped it around the smaller woman, hugging her tight from behind as sobs wracked her thin frame, then guiding her to sit on the side of the mattress. Kara sat beside her, one arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, the other hand stroking her face, smoothing back her black hair. There would be no massage tonight.
Ash had been vandalized. Disfigured. Kara was torn between fury and a sympathy so deep it hurt. Even after the tattoos were removed - and Kara hoped to begin that process without delay - Ashley would still feel those marks inside her, emotionally, for a long, long time.
Maybe forever.
