Never Going Down

Blue as your blue goodbye

(Pic of Karen above)

Once home and in the safety of my shower I sat under the steady stream of scorching hot water and scrubbed hard at my skin. I could still smell him, feel him and see him, no amount of soap cleared me of what he did. After over an hour in the shower I pulled myself out and curled up in my bed. Looking at the time I cried when I saw it was almost seven pm, I was supposed to be on my way to the party by now but I couldn't go.

Picking up my phone I scrolled through till I found Josh's number but then hesitated I couldn't call him, what would I say? He would hear the pain in my voice and he would not take what I had to do seriously, so I opted for a text.

Jake I am so sorry, its over I don't love you anymore, don't call don't text and don't come and see me!

My heart broke as I pressed send. Throwing my phone across the room I collapsed in a fit of painful sobs and screams. My perfect life was now seriously fucked up.

My night was spent in tears, sobbing about the loss of a love that meant the world to me. Josh had not even tried to contact me, I wondered why and felt insulted. Was I not important enough to fight for?

In the morning I woke preying yesterday had been nothing but a dream. Getting out of bed I ignored my phone that was lying quietly on my floor beside my door and went to my bathroom. I gasped in horror as I took in the appearance of the girl in the mirror.

She was pale and withdrawn; her eyes were red and swollen. Around her neck were the starts of angry bruises, flying my hands to my throat I winced from the pain I felt when touching the marks and the flash backs of yesterday began. As I was lost in my nightmare of my reflection I only just heard the final buzz as my cell vibrated.

Opening my phone with a quick swipe  my life fell apart for a second time in less than twenty four hours. There in a text from Karen was a picture of her and Josh. He was asleep but was smiling happily as she laid in no clothes by his side, it was evident from their nakedness that they had been busted when they fell asleep after of sex. The caption she wrote broke my heart,

Thanks Riley, now Josh is happy with his perfect girl, you snooze you lose!

Screaming in absolute agony I crumpled to the floor beside my bed, suddenly I felt warm arms envelope me and pull me close. Mum had heard my wails and had come running.

"Riles baby, what's the matter?" she soothed as she rocked me in her arms, I sobbed into her shoulder and closed my eyes

"It's all over mummy, she won she finally won" I cried

"Who won baby girl?" mum asked concerned by my hysterics

Thrusting my phone into her hands I crawled back into bed and cringed as a loud growl was emitted from her throat. Not saying anything she simply stood up and walked out of my room. I crawled back into bed and screamed into my pillow. I felt betrayed, I had only just ended things and already he had moved on.
A few hours later my door slammed open revealing mum with a worried expression and her phone pressed hard to her ear,

"Yes I called the police, no they are overly visible, yes she has stopped crying, I don't know but they said within the hour" mum was near sobbing as she lowered herself beside me onto my bed and switched the call to speaker.

"Honey buns, can you hear me?" I startled at my dads booming voice. Looking from the phone to mums sad face and back to the phone, I sniffed loudly while trying to keep a new wave of tears from escaping my red raw eyes.

"Daddy?" I sobbed losing my composure, "daddy I hurt"

Reaching over mum pulled me into her side and I couldn't help but notice the soft sobbing sounds coming through the phone.