I wake up to loud music and people talking. I open my eyes and see that it's dark outside and in the room. I sit up and rub my eyes, getting out of bed to look in the mirror. I look horrible. I brush my hair and put it up in a messy bun. I'm too tired to do my makeup so I just walk out of the room. I walk into the living room and see a bunch of people. The music is really loud and everyone is talking and drinking. I smell hella weed coming from jacks room too. I see corbyn talking to a group of people so I walk over to him. "Oh hey. Guys, this is my-" he said before he remembered we're not together anymore. He's not used to it and neither am I. "Riley. This is Riley." He said. "Nice to meet you, Riley." They all said. "God, I look like such a mess right now." I said, pulling my stray hairs behind my ears. "You look great. Want a drink?" A boy asked me. "I'm good. Thanks." I said. Corbyn looks a little jealous. "I'm just gonna go get some water." I said. "Alright. I'll catch up with you later." Corbyn said. "Okay." I said. I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge, getting a bottle of water. I look and see zach making out with this pretty blonde girl. They're really going at it. That must be the Chloe he was talking about earlier. I take a sip of water and walk out of the kitchen. I look at the time and see that it's 1:00. That means the party is almost over. They always end at like 2:00 anyways. I walk around and try to look for something to do. I turn the corner and see Jonah and Daniel drunkenly dancing with a group of people. They're having so much fun. I sit down on the couch and take out my phone. I haven't been on my phone for weeks. I check social media and see what people are saying about me. I scroll through and see lots of blame on me for corbyn getting shot. But mostly, I see love from all the fans. They're happy I'm okay and they're saying they love me. It makes me happy to know that most people want to see me happy and okay. I turn off my phone when someone plops down on the couch next to me. I look and see Jonah. "You alright?" He asked, drunk. "Are you?" I asked, laughing a little. "I'm fucking great." He said. I laugh and Daniel walks up to me. "Hey, you gotta try some of this stuff." He said as he holds up a bottle of tequila and slurs his words. "Nah, I'm not trying to black out tonight." I said, jokingly. He laughs. "You're right, you're right." He said, sitting on the couch. I look over at Jonah and see that he's asleep. "Ma dude is already knocked! That means he partied hard!" Daniels friend said about Jonah. "That just means we need to party harder!" Daniel said. "Yeah!" A group of people said as they heard him. He probably won't wake up tomorrow because of how much he's drinking. I watch as him and a bunch of people take shots and dance like no ones watching. I'm still kinda tired so I'm not gonna drink or dance.
An hour later, everyone left the party. I'm still sitting on the couch with Jonah, who is asleep, as Corbyn walks over to me, drunkly, and sits next to me. "That was a great party, wasn't it?" He asked me. "Yeah, it was...great." I said. He looks at me. "Are you feeling better? Like, not depressed?" He asked. "Depression doesn't just go away after one party." I told him. "Yeah yeah, I know." He said. It's silent for a second. "Okay, I'm going to bed." He said as he slowly gets up. "I'll come with." I said, standing up as well. We walk out of the living room, leaving Jonah asleep on the couch. We walk past Zach's room and hear a girl moaning and some smacking noise. I look at corbyn and we laugh as we run to his room. He stumbles before he falls on his bed. I laugh and lay down next to him. I look up at the ceiling and sigh. "I miss you." I said before I look over at corbyn. He's asleep. I sigh and close my eyes.
I wake up to whispers outside of the door. I open my eyes and rub them before I sit up. I see that Corbyn still sound asleep. I walk over to the door and open it, surprised to see zach and that girl, Chloe, standing there talking and laughing. They look at me. "Oh, sorry. Did we wake you?" Zach asked. "No." I said. Chloe looks at me and smiles. "Hey." She said. "Hi." I said. "Okay, so I'm gonna go." She said. "Okay, bye." Zach said before he gives her a kiss. She walks out of the house and me and zach walk into the kitchen, passing by the living room. I see that Jonah is still asleep on the couch. "I'm gonna go to Tim Hortans to get donuts and stuff. You wanna come?" He asked. "Yeah, sure." I said. We get our shoes on and walk outside, getting in the car. We start to drive as the radio quietly plays a Justin Bieber song. "So is she your girlfriend?" I asked. He laughs. "I didn't ask yet but I think she wants to be." He said. I nod. "Are you and corbyn gonna get back together?" He asked. I shake my head, no. "No?" He asked. "I can't date him until I'm better. I don't think I'm ever gonna get better." I said to him. "Riley, yes you will." Zach said. I shake my head. "I love him but I can't put him through this." I said. "He wants to help you. He loves you." Zach said. "I know. I just feel like such a burden." I said. "That's the depression and anxiety talking. You're not a burden." He said. I sigh as we pull into the Tim Hortans drive- thru. "Can I have a dozen Boston cream donuts and 5 large iced coffees with 2 sugars and 2 creams." Zach said to the screen. "What drink do you want?" He asked me. "I'll have a small iced Capp." I said. "And a small iced Capp." Zach repeated to the screen. "Is that all?" The guy asked. "Yes." Zach said. Then we pull up to the window and pay as we get our food and drinks. "The boys are gonna be so happy." Zach said as he drives away. I smile. "Thank you for buying me a drink." I said. "Yeah if coarse. I'm the best, aren't I?" He said, jokingly. I laugh. "Yes, you are." I said. He smiles as he turns up the radio. "I WANNA HOLD YOU WHEN IM NOT SUPPOSED TO WHEN YOURE LYING CLOSE TO SOMEONE ELSE!" Zach sang along to a Selena Gomez song. I laugh and sing along too. The music is really loud as we ride down the street with the windows opened and my hair flying everywhere. I hold on the the drinks and box of donuts so they don't fly away.
When we get home, all the boys are awake and sitting on the couch. They're all looking down at the floor, not saying anything to each other like they were waiting for us to get home. They look at me and zach as we walk in the house. "What's going on?" Zach asked as Corbyn stands up and walks over to me. He takes the drinks from me and sets them on the counter. "Come sit." He said. My heart starts beating. Something bad has happened, I just know it. "Is it bad?" I asked. Corbyn nods as I sit on the couch. Zach sits too. I'm guessing he doesn't know what's going on either. "Riley..." Corbyn said with a shaky voice. He puts his hands over his face. "I can't. I can't tell her." He said, his voice getting quieter. "Riley..." Jack started. I look over at Daniel and see him wiping his tears. I look over at Jonah and see his hand over his mouth, concerned and scared. "Jenna... Jenna passed away."
~~ "Riley!" I hear Jenna say as I wake up. She jumps on my bed as I yawn and sit up. "Happy birthday!" She said with a smile as she lands on her knees. I smile and she gives me a hug. "I have a surprise for you. Come downstairs." She said as she gets off my bed and runs downstairs. I laugh and get out of bed. I walk out of my room and downstairs. "Surprise!" Jenna said as she sits at the kitchen counter. I see a big plate of pancakes sitting there with syrup and butter on top. "I made them for you." She said with a smile. I smile. "My favorite. Thank you." I said as I sit down. She gives me a fork and we both eat them. "You're the best sister ever. Thank you for taking care of me." She said. I smile and give her a hug. "No you're the best sister ever." I said.~~
I can't move. I feel like I'm paralyzed and stuck in a small box that I can't escape from. "She what?" Zach asked. "How- what happened?" He asked, with a shaky voice. "She got hit by a car." Jack said, softly, trying not to cry. I'm just sitting there, staring at the floor trying to understand how this conversation could be real. How could jenna be dead? "Riley? Riley, are you okay?" Jonah asked me as he puts his hand on my shoulder. That broke me out of the trance I was in and let me into reality. All the tears I had built up over the past few weeks finally let loose and I started crying harder than I ever have before. "She can't be dead!" I cried. "I'm sorry." Corbyn said as he puts his hand on my shoulder. He was crying a little. "No! No she's not!" I said. The boys just watch as I break down.
10 minutes later, I finally stop crying. I have no tears left. "Here, drink some water." Daniel said as he puts an ice cold bottle of water in front of me on the coffee table. I shake my head. "I don't know how I'm gonna do this without her." I said, quietly. "Do what?" Zach asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Live." I said. It's silent. "Why Don't you get some rest. I'll come with." Corbyn said as he stands up. He takes my hand and helps me up before we walk into his (our) bedroom. I lay down on the bed and corbyn covers me with the blanket. "Is this real?" I asked him as I look around. "Am I dreaming? Am I still asleep?" I asked. "You're awake, Riley. This is real." He said. I sigh and put my hands over my face. "How could this happen?" I asked. "I don't know." He said. I grab his hand. "You're next." I said. "What?" He asked, confused. I sit up. "If god is taking people I love, starting with Jenna, then you're next. It has to be you. There's no one I love more than Jenna except for you." I said. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna be right here besides you for as long as you live." Corbyn said, pushing me back to lay down. "Promise?" I asked. "Promise." He said before he kisses me on the forehead. He looks at me for a second. "I'm so so sorry." He said. I sigh. "So what's gonna happen? Are we going to Minnesota to have a funeral or Virginia?" I asked. "Jonah's mom said Virginia. That's where all her friends were." Corbyn said. A tear falls down my face as my throat feels like it's closing up from trying not to cry. "That's a good idea." I said with a shaky voice. He rubs my head. "I don't know what to say." He said. I know he's never been in this situation before. "You don't have to say anything. I'm just gonna be alone for right now if that's okay." I said as he wipes a tear from my cheek. "Okay." He said before he kisses my forehead again. He walk out of the room and I close my eyes. I still don't believe this is real. "Wake up, Riley." I said to myself. I smack myself in the face. "WAKE UP!"
