Let Me Be Yours

CHAPTER TWELVE

Dedicated to Niimarh101
Tnx a lot sweetheart

***

He barged into his father who's just about retiring for the night.

It's one of the many times he lost control, his mind too vague to differentiate between right and wrong. Dwelling in unmeasurable fury, his past memories replaying in his psyche fast and clear. Regret and guilt waving through his every fibre, trying painstakingly to bring him down.

His father stood straight as he neared him.

"Why the fuck did you do that?!" He gestured outrageously. "Why on Earth will you do this to me?"

"Calm down Ali."

"Don't you fucking tell me that!" He kicked the ottoman by the bed, his eyes rimmed with tears. "What do you wanna achieve by doing this?!"

The Lamido had a hint of what he's talking about and he expected this reaction from him so he composed, more than before. "Come here my son, let's talk about this." He urged calmly.

Ali flew his palms to his face and turned to give the bedpost a punch. It cracked.

"What exactly did you tell her?!"

"What she had to know."

"That I killed them?!" He turned to his father, eyes red with anger. "That I fucking killed my mum and brother?!"

"Stop talking like that."

"And for what?! So she'd pity my wretched life?! So she'd know exactly what my weakness is?! Why Dad?! Why?!" He yelled, moving away from his father.

His father clenched his jaws and whiffed a sigh. Now isn't a time to be weak, he reminded himself.

"She's your wife to be and she has to know."

"She ain't my fucking wife yet!" He stomped his feet on the bedside drawer. "And even if she is don't you think I had to tell her about me myself?! Noone asked you to do that for me!"

"I'm your father Ali and I know just exactly what's right for you." He's fed up with his son's allegations. "I know Amira well and that's why I trusted her enough to tell her that about you. I never did with your ex-wife. And she'd never do if it were left to you. She's been in this house for three years now but she'd never known anything about my first wife or son, and now that she's about becoming a daughter of this family, why do you think she doesn't need to know?"

"Because I don't want her to!" He stood his ground. "Because it makes me crazy when I hear about them, it freaks me out when I think about them and knowing that a seventeen years old I haven't even accepted knows virtually everything about me makes me both angry and scared at the same fucking time!" His every word dripped with acerbation.

"You're taking this too far. We aren't alone here."

"I don't care!" He grabbed the lamp on the drawer and plunged it at his dad.

He stepped back and it crashed to the floor.

"Do you think she'd even wanna stay with me knowing that I killed them?!"

"You didn't."

"I killed Mustafa Dad. I killed my mum." His voice broke and he collapsed on the wall, tears falling freely.

The Lamido pursed his lips and reached out for him.

"Stay away from me!" Ali tensed up.

"You need to calm down."

"Back off!" He flung his hands away from him and turned back, walking away.

"Careful!" The Lamido yelled but he already stepped on the broken glass.