Aurora [H.S AU]

Chapter 36

A/N: I apologize in advance cause there is a terrible manip on this chapter. My photoshop skills are terrible, but my intentions were gold, I promise.

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And I watched the skies getting light as I write
As I think about those years
As I whisper in your ear
I'm always going to be right here
No one's going anywhere

Song: How To Disappear, by Lana Del Rey

***

Aster's P.O.V.:

Harry left about 20 minutes ago and I'm still sitting at his porch, blanket on my lap, glass of wine in my shaking hands.

To say my mind is rushing would be an understatement. I have so many thoughts rumbling in my head I can barely keep up with. So many new questions, theories, doubts and memories are flooding me, it is overwhelming and almost paralyzing. I feel like I'm on the verge of having some kind of anxiety attack and, at the same time, feel like I could fall asleep any moment now, too exhausted to fight the overflowing thoughts taking me over.

Everything Harry said sounded just so unreal, seems like I'm living a dream, a fucking nightmare for that matter. How the guy I grew up with, my first real crush, the cheeky, arrogant co-worker and future partner could turn out to be a drug dealer? And by my father's command!

Honestly, the idea of my dad ruling a multi-millionaire pharmaceutical industry that's also producing and distributing illegal hallucinogenic drugs is laughable.

On the other hand, Harry seemed so sincere. I saw nothing but honesty in his eyes, summed up to what I literally saw last night, as absurd as it might sound, it's also looks like it's true. And it's too damn organized to be something as recent as Harry's arrival to New York.

Which leads me to the main question here - how could my dad keep everything away from me? How could he hide something this big?

How in hell does he think he could keep hiding it after I take over S&L?

And maybe I'm being way less moral than I should - considering we're talking about illegal shit - but it actually hurts that my dad didn't trust me enough to take care of our business in its entirety.

Haven't I proved myself, over and over again? For years I've let my personal life aside, giving everything I have to my job, working my ass off and trying to show my father I'm worthy of his empire, that he can trust me with whichever tasks he needs. Deep down, I feel like I've been wasting all my time, dedicating myself to a lie while I could be actually enjoying my life and living accordingly with my age.

I'm 24 and can't even remember the last time I went to a bar just for fun.

Of course, there's Pandemonium, but I go there with a different mindset. Besides, I don't even have friends to go to bars and pubs with, but that's mainly because I've never even had the time to try and maintain some kind of friendship with someone. Hell, I think the only reason Calvin is still my best friend is due to his strong persistence.

What about Maddie? Did she know about this? She died of overdose! How could my dad keep producing and selling illegal drugs after losing a child for it?

Did my mother know? Was that why she left?

If so, why didn't she take me with her? Why leave me behind with a drug dealer?

Everything I've always believed about my life, my family, my story, is it all really a lie?

Jesus, my head aches.