Aurora [H.S AU]

Chapter 40

What's the point in fightin' for a happy ever after?
The past keeps hauntin' the future I imagine
All I ever wanted was a little peace and quiet
Just color in the lines, and you'll get it like they promise
If you bite the hand, get louder and defiant
Then you'll see how quickly they come making a deposit

Song: Identity, by grandson

***

Aster's P.O.V.:

Having the internal clock of a rooster is definitely not fun when you went to bed after 3 am.

Especially when I'm in such a comfortable bed, strong arms wrapped around my body and keeping me close to a warm chest. His breathing goes up and down slowly, a clear indication he is still in a deep sleep.

Softly, I move my head, peeling my cheek from the heated skin on the curve of his neck. Honestly, I don't even understand how I was able to sleep with my face shoved on him like this, guess the body needs less oxygen when you're sleeping. His arms are holding me so tightly I can barely move, but I manage to hold my head up just enough so I can watch the peaceful expression on his face while he snores lightly.

He is so gorgeous.

I spent my entire childhood and most of my teenage years memorizing every detail of his face, the prominent cheekbones, straight nose, plump and perfectly pink lips. Even his flaws are beautiful, the spot next to his mouth, and the other one on the side of his nose, it all makes him even prettier. His eyes aren't big but carry so much meaning, usually shining bright and playful, as if waiting for the right moment to crack his next joke.

But not last night.

Last night he looked devastated. Distraught. Last night, he was desperate.

I've never seen Harry like that. Never heard him like that. I don't even think he realized how loud were his sobs when he was under the shower. He was so lost in his desperation, it took him a while to even comprehend I entered the bathroom.

It broke my heart to see him like that. I didn't know what to do, but I felt like I would do about anything to make him feel better, to take him out of that misery, to bring back the playful, cheeky look on his eyes that usually made me crazy.

And I'm so terrible at this. I'm terrible at dealing with feelings, don't know how to comfort people. I'm good with laws and contracts, I'm good at bickering, but I'm honestly the worse at caring for people's feelings. Even though I was comforted a lot while I was younger, I never had to be the one doing the comforting.

So I did the only thing I knew would take his mind off of his suffering.

I focused on his body and all the physical sensations I knew could distract him. I offered my body so he could fuck his pain away and fuck, that's exactly what he did.

I've never been so mercilessly drilled, never been fucked that hard. I told him to use my body and that was exactly what he did, but somehow, I didn't even felt used.

I felt worshiped.

Don't know if that's what he needed last night, but by the way he is holding me, I'm guessing somehow I helped.

There's so much I still have to figure out Everything he told me yesterday, the disruptive truth about S&L. Do I even believe it's true? Even though there's a part of me who refuses to believe, telling myself it is ludicrous and not at all possible, I can't shake off the feeling it is also too absurd for Harry to simply lie about it all. Why would he?