Her Perfect Plan

The Family I have

"Our valedictorian for this batch is Jane C. Cruz. Congratulations." Anunsyo ng aming principal. Umugong ang isang malakas na palakpakan habang umaakyat sa entablado ang aming valedictorian.

I smiled bitterly while clapping my hands slowly. It's my graduation in elementary but dad didn't come or even congratulate me. I'm still very thankful parin na kahit hindi umatend si dad nandyan naman ang aking lola, my mom's mother to support me.

I'm not that close with my grandparents but my lola is exempted. Once my mom died from unknown reason, my lola is tho one who took care of me. From my birth hanggang sa mag apat na taong gulang ako. I moved to my dad's house because that's what my dad said.

From that day, he never treat me as his own but as his pet. I sleep in the cold basement and eat his leftovers food kung pinapalad. Sometimes, yaya Len gives me some food to eat pero palihim lang. Pag nalaman kasi ni dad tiyak na mapaparusahan ako at matatanggal sa trabaho si yaya Len.

Then he enrolled me in one of those prestigious school and no one attempt to be my friend. Nilalayuan nila ako because I smell like a basement. They said I'm too smelly to be their friend.

After five years sleeping in the basement ay binigyan na niya ako ng matinong matutulugan at pagkain. Don't know why he suddenly changed his mind. Baka dahil naaawa siya saakin kasi halos buto't balat na ako o kaya naisip niyang may paggagamitan siya saakin.

That's the time I realized maybe I should study harder and make my dad proud. When my high school life finally starts, never akong nawalan ng gana sa pag aaral. Yun lang ang inaatupag ko sa apat na taon. Finally, I became a valedictorian. Hindi na sayang ang taon na pinaghirapan ko.

I'm very excited to announce it to my dad. Ang plano ko sana ay susurpresahin ko siya sa aking moving up. Doon niya na malalaman ang pagiging valedictorian ko but when I announce to him about my upcoming moving up he just shrugged his shoulder and I know what does it mean.

That night I'm devastated that I cried the whole night. For the second time wala siyang balak pumunta sa moving up ko. But still, hindi ako nawalan ng pag asa. I still told him about me being a valedictorian hoping na makatulong iyon na mapapayag siya.

"Then congratulations." Yun lang ang sinabi niya at wala ng iba. Hindi man lang ako tinapunan ng tingin at nagpatuloy lang siya sa pagbabasa sa kanyang phone.

"Can you come to my moving up?" I'm now sounded hopeful. Please...

"I'll think about it." He said without looking at me.

My face suddenly light up. The day of my moving up, I'm very excited and at the same time nervous. I set aside my negative thoughts while on my way to the venue. Hindi ko nakita si dad paggising ko kanina pero baka bumili ng regalo para saakin at susurpresahin ako. Sige na ako na assuming.

Nakapila na kami para sa pagmartsa at halos lahat ng katabi ko ay katabi na ang kanilang parents. My heart is pounding fast and a bead of sweats are starting to form in my forehead.

My hope died when I saw my lola walking towards me.

"I'm sorry honey, late na kasing sinabi ng dad mo na ako ang pumunta sa moving up mo." Bungad ni lola pagkalapit saakin.

"Bakit hindi po si dad?" I asked.

"Ang sabi niya busy daw siya eh."

Tumango lang ako at lutang na nagmartsa hanggang sa anunsyohin na nila ang valedictorian. Lutang akong pumunta sa stage at ilang minutong natahimik.

Nang makabawi at nagsimula na akong magsalita at pasalamatan ang mga taong naging parte ng high school life ko. Akala ko nabayaran na ang paghihirap ko but still no.

When I got home I found my dad in the sofa kissing a slut that sitting on his lap. So, that's what he called busy.

That's the day I started to hate myself. How ignorant I am for believing to this old, liar, ugly, motherfucker guy. I really hate him, myself and him and him and him.

Nawalan na ako ng ganang mag aral pag dating ko ng senior high school. Nadrop out na rin ako sa school pero wala pa rin siyang pake. Baka nga mamatay pa ako ay sumaya pa siya eh.

I also want to end my tiring, lifeless, dirty life. Sunod sunod akong lumunok bago ko inilagay ang ulo sa lubid. I tried to hang myself but I immediately cut the rope because I can't breath. I think hanging is not for me. So, I tried to slash my arm but errr... It hurts. Nadaplisan lang ako ng kutsilyo ay sobrang hapdi na kaya di ko na tinuloy. I also tried drowning myself in my bathtub but I can't breath also. Then I went to the tallest building nearby. I planned to jump from the rooftop but I'm scared of height so nah. I guess killing myself is not for me.

Hanggang sa makaisip ako ng plano about sa pagkakaroon ng sariling kumpanya at makaalis na sa puder niya. That's the start na mula akong tumutok sa pag aaral habang sinasabayan ang aking youtube career. The money I got ay napupunta sa bank account ni Vei. Doo ko iniipon because ayaw kong malaman ni dad ang tungkol dito.

Even my graduation in senior high school at college ay hindi siya pumunta. Since my lola passed away already, I marched alone in my graduation.  Yes it's sad but for me it's normal.

I received a text from my dad that made me shook. Really? Not wrong send? Not dreaming or anything? Is this really true? Halos matawa ako sa mabasa.

Iniimbitahan lang naman ako ni dad mamayang dinner sa isang fine dinning restaurant. Sinong di magugulat dun eh sa hapag kainan nga never kaming nagsabay.

Of course I doll up myself neatly. Since this is our very first, dat- In my dreams, right? I think the right words are 'our very first to eat together', much better. Still I'm curious kung bakit bigla siyang nag imbita syempre may reason yan.

Dahil first time nga naming kumain ito ng sabay ay maaga akong dumating. Pa impress si ate.

And there, he finally arrived exactly 6 p.m. but it's not my dad, it's Lenin my boyfriend. Natawa na lang ako dahil nag expect ako masyado. He's just setting up a date for you and you're boyfriend, stupid girl.

Wow, my dad is really cool!

***