Lockdown {COMPLETED}

Chapter 6: Unhealthy Past

Aria was in the kitchen making coffee when Rae walked out of his room. It had been six hours since their fight, and four since Aria had found Rae in his bedroom, kneeling on the floor and silently crying. Shortly after Rae had fallen asleep, Aria had too, exhausted by the day's events. She had woken up about half an hour ago, with Rae's head on her lap, and her head against the bed.

"Ah, sleeping beauty awakens. Want some coffee?" Aria asked, gesturing towards the two filled cups.

Rae scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Listen Aria, about earlier-"

Aria cut him off, "Not right now, I want to drink this amazing coffee and watch a movie. We can talk about that later." She knew he needed the distraction, and honestly so did she.

Rae nodded gratefully and took the cup Aria gave him. They both moved to the couch and were soon lost in the world of movies.

Three hours later, as the end credits rolled on the screen Aria shifted so that she was facing Rae, one leg tucked underneath her. She paused the TV screen, so that Rae had no choice but to meet her eyes.

"Look, I'm still mad at you," Aria said. "I can't just forgive you so easily or so fast. But you obviously feel guilty about it. So, I'm willing to try. But there is something else, isn't there?"

Rae simply nodded. Aria could sense his hesitance.

"Look you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. The truth is, you barely know me. So you don't have to feel obliged to tell me."

She moved to leave but Rae caught her wrist. "Stay. Please." Aria nodded and waited patiently for him to continue.

"A few years ago," Rae started, "When I was a freshman at high school, I-."

Rae fell silent for a moment, as if trying to trudge up the will to get his words out. "I started noticing features of boys in ways I hadn't noticed before, if that makes any sense."

He swallowed nervously and Aria took his hand in her own, silently encouraging him to continue. "I was terrified, honestly. Before then, I'd only ever viewed girls in that manner. I was raised in a heavily religious family, you see. My entire school life I've seen people being cast out for being different, and my father, he personally oversaw the exclusion of certain people from society and even out of the town."

Aria fought hard to keep her expression open and neutral. But she had to interrupt him. "Rae, the choices your father made, he made them. The way he is isn't because of religion, though it might seem so. It's because of his own mindset, his own choices. He could've chosen to accept you the way you are, but he didn't. Neither did your mother, or the whole town in fact. They're just using religion as an excuse for their own bigoted ways. I would know, because my grandparents are devout Christians." 

Rae nodded, and then asked, "Are you religious?"

"No, not really," Aria said, wincing. "I don't really believe in God either. I mean maybe He/She is there, maybe not. Either way, I'm sure They and I have bigger fish to fry. I pray sometimes, to calm myself down, but that's about it. Oh god, sorry this is supposed to be about you and I'm making this all about me."

"No it's okay," Rae said, biting his lip.

Aria's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, "You're stalling aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Quit it."

"I intend to keep doing it."

"I'm not going to let you."

"Yet here we are."

Aria groaned, and threw her hands in the air. "Fine if you don't want to tell me, don't."