Lockdown {COMPLETED}

Chapter 8: Influence

Aria couldn't shake off the feeling that something between them had shifted, and not in a good way. Rae had started acting distant all of a sudden and while Aria had initially dismissed it as work, the more she thought about it the more she was convinced that Rae was avoiding her. She didn't get it. She was confident that she hadn't done anything wrong. But after four days even her confidence had begun to falter. But now, enough was enough, she was going to find out why.

"Rae?" she said. They were in the kitchen, eating snacks, sitting on the two barstools that stood along the outer side of a portion of the kitchen counter. She held a coffee in both her hands, loving the warmth it spread. Rae had come out of his room as Aria had called him to drink coffee and refused to let him go back to his room.

"Are you avoiding me?" There was no point in beating around the bush.

"No," Rae said, a little too fast.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I'm not avoiding you either. I just have a lot on my plate. We have some projects coming up, so we need the designs ready. Honestly it's not you it's me."

Aria almost believed him. Almost.

"No, something's definitely wrong isn't it?"

Rae let out a strained laugh. "No nothing's wrong Aria."

Aria narrowed her eyes, "Rae-"

"Just back off!" Rae exploded. "Just leave me alone. I told you the truth. If you're not willing to believe it, then that's your problem. Believe what you want to believe."

Aria instantly felt guilty. Just because he had opened up to her about something didn't mean they were suddenly close. The closeness, like the one Rae and Jill or Lilliana and Aria had, it took years to build. She had just wanted to help, but she hadn't realised she was being pushy. She wasn't entitled to anything, after all, they had barely spent two weeks together. He was more likely to open up about anymore of his problems to a dog, than her.

"Rae, I-uh... I'm sorry. Really, I know you have a lot on your plate and I shouldn't have forced you. So, sorry."

For a moment Aria thought she glimpsed a bit of guilt in Rae's eyes, but it was gone so soon she knew it was probably her overactive imagination. She was prone to over-analysing this sort of stuff.

"It's okay," he said. His phone rang. "I gotta take this." He stood up and went into his room.

Aria groaned and dropped her head into her hands. She had probably ruined their shaky truce, and made Rae retreat back into his shell. She knew that the sort of change that one made in oneself took time and even the slightest trigger could easily make the person retreat back into the safety of their self-made walls.

She just had to go and blow it.

*******

Rae viciously suppressed the pang of guilt that he had felt when Aria had apologized. He knew he shouldn't have said those things, yet it was the only way to make Aria back off. He couldn't danger her life too, if his parents ever found out what ideas Aria had put in his head. Her words battling with the words that were drilled into him since childhood kept him awake most nights, going on and on as if they were being played on a broken radio. Those nights were taking a toll on him, his ever present dark circles getting prominent day by day, and he was starting to feel drained.

Today was one such night, but instead of voices, memories floated around his head. He remembered his first panic attack, way back in high school, when his secret and suppressed feelings had gotten too much for him to bear. He had suppressed the memory countless times, not wanting to replay his mother's harsh words and lack of embrace. He remembered the shock of her vicious words enough that they still hurt, cutting an already unhealing wound.