Heartbreak Weather | ✓

♡༉ e.

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My poetries were too tired of kissing your mouth that whispered pretty little lies one night & reeked of someone else the other.

So, I decided to get myself back on track - I decided to cease writing about you, because honestly, I'd written a lot about you - more than I should have.

But what could I even do? All the feelings I could never show or describe, I would write them down with a madenning hunger. I would write myself to nervous breakdowns. I would write myself to freedom - from my own mind.

I was putting my defenses up, and you noticed it too. A flicker of hope ignited in me, you noticed the discreet change of mood, even though I feigned the cheerfulness all the time. But the hope was tied and thrown into a pool of melancholia pretty fast, when you brushed it off, thinking that it was due to my fight with Kaleb.

I became visibly distant from you. The funniest thing? You didn't even ask. You jumped to conclusions on your own. And I didn't interrupt.

And in those times - when neither you nor Kaleb even bothered to ask me questions, Eli proved to be my saving grace.

There is not a single thing in the whole world that I would trade Eli for.

And you? You didn't like it, at all.

So instead you asked me what I liked about him so much. Without missing a beat, I would tell tales about how he had grown to understand me in a way no one else could. You would ask me if I had a crush on him - I would worry my bottom lip, smiling to myself. I had eyes for only you, was it so hard to see? Nonetheless, I would answer by saying how he was a great person, and I would try to deflect the question.

But you didn't back down. You kept asking me questions about him, and I would keep answering them.

"I read the poem you wrote for him. It was pretty."

"Yeah," I smiled at you,"He has pretty brown eyes as well. Suits him."

You looked at me, long & thoughtfully,"Wow, I didn't know that you were into brown eyes now."

My furrowed eyebrows must have given my confusion away because then, you continued,"I thought you were into me - into my green eyes. But I guess people & their preferences change, just like that."

I hadn't said anything - I was exhausted. You took my silence as a cue and added further,"I really thought that I was special to you, but I guess not."

And for the first time, I didn't correct you. I was tired, so tired.

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