𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐔𝐌 (𝐷𝑎𝑟𝑦𝑙 𝐷𝑖𝑥𝑜𝑛)

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛

Movement came into my field of vision, headed right towards me, and snapping me out of my daze. My body flinched away on impulse and my hand flew up to protect my face. I felt panic run through my veins, adrenaline that I didn't even know I had left in my sleep deprived mind. But, there was no attacker. It was only a puzzled Daryl and a water bottle resting in his outstretched hand. My cheeks suddenly burned with embarrassment and I brought my arm down.

"I'm sorry. You scared me," my heart was racing faster than I thought it capable of.

Daryl said nothing and tossed the bottle to the ground next to me. I looked up at him, and for a moment I could see a flash of hurt flicker in his eyes before he cleared his throat and broke his gaze. My hands found the bottle and I stared down at the clear water, illuminated by my flashlight.

"I ain't Shane."

My heart dropped. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," I opened the bottle and took a long drink out of it.

"I saw ya runnin' away from that van. Shane too."

"So?" I shrugged and looked down at the forest floor.

"I ain't stupid either," Daryl's voice came out low and raspy, yet controlled, like he was trying his best to sound kind.

A few moments passed where we said nothing, listening to the walker rasp and growl as he dangled from the tree.

"Let's head back," he moved towards me, slower and calmer now, with his hand outstretched.

His skin felt calloused and rough as I gently placed my palm in his. His fingers closed firmly around my hand and brought me back to my feet with one swift pull, the momentum catching me off guard as I struggled to get my footing.

The rasping of the walker intensified as Daryl started to move away and I brought up my light to look at the animated corpse one last time. I had a feeling of guilt as I stared into the walker's foggy eyes, hands reaching out towards me desperately. 

"Wait," I called towards Daryl's turned back, "We can't leave him like this."

He peered at me with a curious gaze and shifted his eyes up to the walker.

"He made his choice, opted out. Let him hang," Daryl shook his head.

"Fine. Then I'll do it myself. You can go back if you want," I took out my knife and marched towards the tree, shining my light into the branches above to find a way up. I couldn't bring myself to leave him there, rotting forever. It's what I would want someone to do for me.

I was about to reach up and grab for the lowest branch when Daryl let out a loud sigh behind me and came back, grumbling about me being stubborn.

"Alright. An arrow for an answer," he said from his place next to me. 

"An answer for what?"

"You know what I'm talkin' bout."

"I can't believe you," I scoffed and shook my head, "It's all a joke to you, isn't it?" I returned my knife to its sheath and began to turn away when Daryl placed a light hand on my arm.

"It ain't a joke. If I'm gonna waste an arrow on this dumbass, it's gotta be for a good reason." His hand felt warm and comfortable on my skin.

I wasn't sure if I should've yelled at him or just walked away, but I felt more inclined to tell the truth than to keep running away from reality. I was too exhausted to keep being angry or offended. More than anything, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and never wake up. 

"He attacked me under the van, while we waited for the herd to pass," I gathered enough strength to keep my voice steady and clear as if I was beginning a presentation detailing my trauma.

"How?" Daryl asked me, the sharp and cocky southern bite now gone from his voice.

"He just tried to do stuff to me," a sudden pressure began to constrict my chest and my words stumbled out, trembling and on the verge of breaking.

"What kinda stuff?" There was a gentle yet pressing wave in his tone, seemingly anxious to hear more about what I had gone through under that van.

"God, he tried to rape me, okay?" My voice broke open like a street crumbling during an earthquake, warm tears quickly tumbling down my cheeks, "Ripped open your damn shirt, tried shoving his hands down my pants. That kind of stuff."

I turned my face away from him as I wedged my bottom lip between my teeth to calm the lump in my throat. A mountain of sobs waiting to happen suddenly built up in my mouth, ready to burst the moment I dared to take a breath.

Daryl's hand left my skin and I heard him march off to the side, where the quick sound of an arrow being let loose silenced the dangling walker, and the woods were quiet once again.

I covered my mouth with my hands as I let out a careful sigh through my mouth. My breath came out in tiny gasps as my chest hiccupped relentlessly. It wasn't a state that I liked to have anyone see me in.

I felt Daryl come back to my side and my arm quickly flew up to wipe my nose and cheeks before turning around to face him, finding his chest to be closer than I had expected: I could even make out the details etched into the small buttons of his shirt. I tilted my head up to look at him. The light from the flashlights illuminated his eyes, helping me see their true color. He was always squinting so much during the day that it made it difficult to discern exactly what his eyes looked like.

"He ever tries that shit again, I'll kill him," Daryl spoke to me much more seriously now, his usual spark present in his voice once again.

I stood there, heart bleeding and tears flowing in front of a man who I not so long ago dreaded being in the same truck with. He had become a different person in my eyes, no longer the redneck asshole who didn't give a damn about anything: He was kind and gentle underneath the tough shell he put up for others to see.

I leaned forward and rested my head against his chest, pressing myself against his body as I wrapped my arms around his midsection. Daryl stiffened in surprise and awkwardly placed his hands on my shoulders before slowly letting them move across my back, resting his chin on the top of my head. Neither of us spoke a word as we stood there, leaning against each other in the middle of the woods.

✯✯✯

(𝑷𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 6/30/20)