𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐔𝐌 (𝐷𝑎𝑟𝑦𝑙 𝐷𝑖𝑥𝑜𝑛)

𝑇𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦 𝑇𝑤𝑜

The bird's daily melodies were the first thing I awoke to the next morning. It almost sounded like home, on those Sunday mornings when I had almost nothing to worry about, and all I wanted to do was lie in bed all day while listening to the birds mill around outside my bedroom window. But, I wasn't home. 

We had enough tents so that everyone could have their own, something which I was grateful for since I didn't have to worry about a roommate walking in on me half-naked.I stretched out my arms and legs, smiling up at the blue nylon that sheltered me for the night. 

A feeling of relief ran through me as I reflected on the peaceful night of sleep I had for what felt like the first time in forever. There were no nightmares or bad dreams that had terrorized my unconscious mind, and for that, I was happy. I searched my backpack for a fresh change of clothes: The ones I had worn the previous day were littered in specks of walker blood, which sent them straight to the wash. I paused for a moment to examine my left hand, now cleaned and wrapped in white gauze. I opened and closed my fingers, wincing at the ever-present pain that erupted.

When Daryl and I had gotten back to camp last night, he'd given me rubbing alcohol and the gauze, sending me to tend to my hand in my tent while he paid a visit to Carol. I felt a tiny flutter of excitement as I thought of heading out again with Daryl to look for Sophia. He had told me that inside the house we encountered yesterday he found a small bed hidden inside the pantry, a perfect place for Sophia to hole up in. The clue gave me a glimmer of hope that she would somehow return safely. I silently hoped the day ahead of me wouldn't end the way yesterday had.

I exited my tent, changed and with my toothbrush and toothpaste in a plastic ziplock. My eyes scanned the little camp set up around me and I noticed the lack of people. I spotted Lori and Carol pinning laundry to a long piece of twine strung up between two trees and quickly jogged over to them.

"Where did everyone go?" I asked the pair of women.

"They left about an hour ago," Lori answered as she pinned up a pair of boxer briefs.

"Daryl said you hurt your hand. We figured it would be better for you to stay so you could get some rest," Carol joined in. A tiny part of me was grateful that I didn't have to be out in the wilderness where my hand could've possibly been the cause of a lost match between me and a walker. Yet, my pride always seemed to get the better of me and I silently swore at Daryl for even mentioning it to anyone in the first place.

"If you're looking for something to do, you can help us with the laundry," Lori spoke to me in a subtle, yet present condescending voice with suspicious eyes trained carefully on me. "That is if you even know how to do laundry."

I was slightly taken aback by her tone. I'd always suspected that Lori had some sort of animosity towards me, but her behavior seemingly came out of nowhere.

"Yes, Lori. I'm old enough to know how to wash clothes." Lori managed to ruin my good mood in the few moments we spoke. 

"Since I haven't seen you do anything to contribute to this group lately, maybe you should leave searching the woods to the men and start helping out like the rest of the women," she roughly spread out a flannel shirt and shoved it onto the twine above. Carol silently looked on with wide eyes.

"Maybe you should mind your own business and stop acting like a pretentious housewife," I said sharply and turned around to stomp back to my tent. The words exploded out of me like water spewing from a broken dam. Was I just bothered by the fact that I got left behind to wash dishes and fold clothes? Even Andrea got to go with everyone else. I shook the thoughts from my head and wandered off to finally brush my teeth, hoping that the rest of my bitter words would get washed out as well.

✯✯✯

Later that day, I neared the open door of Dale's motorhome, hoping that he would have found a journal for me to write in, when Glenn came storming out, frustration and contempt written all over his face.

"Glenn?" I called out his name and he paused to look at me. "Are you okay?"

He slightly parted his mouth as if he were going to say something but then shook his head and continued on.

"I'm fine," he mumbled as he passed me. I looked on as he paced away, but it wasn't a full ten seconds before he spun and marched back to me.

"No, actually, I'm not okay," he huffed as he stopped in front of me.

"What's going on?" I felt myself grow concerned at Glenn's distressed state. 

"We're friends, right? You and I?"

"Of course," I nodded and felt a little jump of happiness at his use of the word 'friend.'

"So if I tell you something, you can't tell anyone else, okay?"

I agreed to his terms and waited eagerly for him to say what was on his mind.

"I had sex with Maggie," he got closer and whispered to me.

"Wow," I felt my eyes widen and brows raise towards the sky and wondered why he wasn't having this conversation with one of his male peers.

"I know, right? The thing is, she started off being mean to me, then she wanted to have sex with me, and now she's being mean to me again. And, you know, since you're a girl I figured that you might be able to tell me what it all means?"

By the end of his tale, I felt both extremely uncomfortable and honored that he felt he could come to me with these kinds of questions.

"Uh, look, Glenn, she's giving you mixed signals because she probably doesn't know what she wants. She's not sure if she wants to commit," I tried to sound as confident as I could, given the fact that I couldn't remember the last time someone asked me for dating advice.

"So what do I do?" He sounded desperate for my instructions and it made me nervous that my advice might end up exploding in his face.

"Well, maybe an ultimatum? Just make sure that you're direct and you tell her what you feel." I silently prayed that I was saying the right thing.

"Charlotte, you are officially the sanest woman on this farm."

"Thanks?" I scratched the back of my neck sheepishly.

"Oh, and there's one more thing that you can't tell anyone else," Glenn leaned in close again and lowered his voice. "Lori's pregnant."

I stood there motionless and stunned as Glenn patted me on the shoulder with a relieved smile plastered on his face.

"God, it feels so good to get that off my chest. Thanks for the advice!" He turned away and sped off, leaving me alone to process the information that he had just spilled all over me. I guess I knew the reason why Lori was acting like such a bitch.

✯✯✯

(𝑷𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 7/21/20)