Every Secret Thing >> Dean Winchester

04 | Stars Fading, Dawn Lingering

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Chapter 04 | Stars Fading, Dawn Lingering

"Stop taking pictures of me!" She whined. "I'm shy, okay? And you know that I hate my face."

"Don't you dare say that! You're beautiful no matter what you say and what others think." He lips turn up to a warm smile. "Just one pic, okay?"

As she shied away from the boy, she covered half of her face in embarrassment as her cheeks got redder.

It was this dream again. The dream where everything was all black and white. There wasn't any colour at all; even the flower fields. Everywhere I looked was dull and dreary.

I watch the familiar scene from a distance. My younger self had always been so unconfident and anxious. Self-conscious. Insecure. I hated my face, my body, my weight. All throughout my life, I had always kept my head down and made sure not to attract attention.

I glance at the boy's figure. I couldn't see his face and that was fine with me. I knew I was subconsciously blocking it in my dreams because I didn't want to remember the past we had together.

But in a flash, Everything around me began to fade. The flower field had disappeared. I glance down, realizing I was now standing on the edge of a bridge, a deep river beneath it.

A conversation between my mother and I echoed in my ears. Her voice was harsh and cruel. "Why can't you do any better at school? Look at your sister. You should be like her! You are worthless. You are a mistake."

No...no...no. Please, no!

Why can't I stop shaking?!

My knees were clanking together like silver spoons as I climbed on the railings. My hands were sweaty. I bit my nails as my heartbeat echoed in my ears. I felt every single pound in my chest. I'm breathing but the air just won't go in, like my lungs were surrounded by metal bands.

The darkness of the waters beneath the bridge where I stood looked like it wanted to take me, engulf my entire being, and then keep me for eternity.

That idea sounds comforting...

I want to jump.

( END OF WARNING. )

x x x

My eyes snap open. I sat up and I gasped for air. Beads of cold sweat trickled down my back and forehead. My top was all damp. There were a certain buzzing in my ear that I couldn't stop.

I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palm.

God, I hate this. Each time I dream of the past, It feels like I'm being strangled. It happened years ago but I still feel every raw emotion all over again. It was as painful each time.

Axel softly nudged my leg and looked up at me sadly. He probably sensed my distress, so I gently pat his head in reassurance. Nuzzling in my touch, I find myself pacing my breathing.

Axel was a retired military dog; probably why he was more sensitive to the emotions around him. Meanwhile, Penny was napping under his paw. The serene look on the kitten's face calmed my nerves bit by bit.

Calm down. The dream's over.

It's over now.

x x x

Minutes later I found myself gorging over some strawberry shortcake. What can I say? Each bite was utter bliss. The flavors exploding in my mouth was delightful and my taste buds were grateful. Ladies and gents, this is perfect happiness.

But with each mouthful I took, I tried to shove down all the bits and pieces of the dream's memories.

His voice suddenly pipes up, "Will you stop pigging out!? And you know how I love cake, too. At least share some to your poor, starving boss!"

"No. And as if I can share some over a video call!" I hugged my plate protectively and glared at him over the screen. My mirror served as a visual display unit where we would communicate.

"Hmph. You'll get fat."

"You're just salty you don't get to have some."

"Whatever. Do continue with your report, Rosabelle Grey." He hisses.

Hah! He obviously didn't have a comeback. I win, bitcheroo!

"Fine. So anyway, he gave me an envelope and told me he was an Aquarius. An Aquarius, I'm telling you!" I wave my spoon around with emphasis. "I hate him already."

The boss sighed. "Even though he was just teasing, we have to admit that he was several steps ahead of you."

I go quiet. What happened last night wasn't really what I'd call a failure, but I know I could've done better. Things became out of my control, and the boss seems to know this. He didn't look exactly disappointed in me, but his brows were furrowed; deep in thought.

"Boss, he invited me to a party just located at the building of his office." I say, holding out the envelope. "I can use this chance to get to take a good look around and at his people."

"Good. Keep your eyes peeled as always. I'll put this Winchester into jail once and for all." He sneers.

Woah. What? It was just for a few seconds, but I'm sure saw his eyes flash such a cold look.

Gee, the boss gets too carried away sometimes.

"Uhh, I mean—that is, if we find solid evidence of him guilty right?"

He chuckles. "There's no 'we' in there, Rosabelle. It's all you. Which is why you absolutely can't screw up this mission."

x x x

Published on: June 21