I was tired. Tired of working, tired of lying, tired of losing, tired of hiding. Everything was exhausting and people were noticing. Management made Lou put pounds of makeup on me each day to prevent people from noticing the bags under my eyes. Honestly I think people could tell that I was tired. I was constantly yawning and wearing sweatpants. I made it work though, I still went to the concerts, and meet and greets, and signings.
We had been about a month into the tour and I hadn't seen the beard until today, not by choice of course. Get this, Eleanor had an emergency and had to leave so management put Liam in a wig and a shirt identical to the one she had on. It was hard not to laugh whilst I was holding his hand. Oddly enough I felt more comfortable holding Liam's hand than I did ever holding Eleanor's. I really hope the fans realised that it was Liam, because it was funny as hell!
I was excited to come back to the hotel room and talk to you about how your day was. I wanted to see your bright smile. I wanted it to make my day better, but you were gone. Someone told me you had gone out for the night, I was told you were with Cara and Nick. I didn't know if that was true or not but I believed it. I was happy that you were enjoying life, I was happy that you were free to do what ever because I wasn't and I knew that once you got dragged into this whole mess you would slowing begin hating life just like I was beginning too. You would hate the things that you use to enjoy. You would hate certain things because they reminded you of being harassed by management. I'm glad you're enjoying like right now Harry. Someone should be enjoying it and I'm glad it's you, I'm just sorry for everything that is about to ruin it.
