Consequences Of The Heart.

Chapter 20: Déjà Vu

I woke up to the indefinitely incessant and annoying sound of chewing right in my face. I didn't open my eyes yet, I could feel the heat of the dawn creep up my arms and I knew the brightness would be too much to handle immediately. As all of my senses -except eyesight- were restored, I could feel a presence next to me: the obvious source of the chewing. I felt the warmth radiating from their body, I heard the constant hum of munching come from above, I smelt the unmistakable scent of freshly baked pumpkin pasties and I tasted the sweet crust on the tip of my tongue.

Wait what?

My head shot up in surprise, my mouth had already began breaking up the delicious pastry but I still couldn't suppress a groan as pain shot through my scratched limbs. It was sheer agony an I was afraid to say I had gotten used to it. Nevertheless, I gathered up enough energy to tilt my head and squint open my eyelids. They revealed a boy. He sat on the bed next to me on my left with a slinking posture and awkwardly bent legs, munching his piece of the pasty. He wore plain, black, skinny jeans that hugged his rather muscle-y legs and were rolled up tightly near his ankles and a generic coloured tee that seemed like a desperate attempt at conformity. The sunlight, now independently streaming into the room blinded me so I didn't get a good look at his face or hair. Luckily, I still had a pristine view of his legs and in particular a pastel blue and pink band around his ankle that gave enough away for me to know who he was. Such recent déjà vu.

"TJ?" He stood up to help me sit up against the wall with minimal pain, blocking up the light's path and silhouetting his figure but I could now see his face. He had dirty blond hair that was always combed but still had life. He owned a pair of the most beautiful teal eyes that glistened in the presence of natural light and his already pink lips shined with a new level of polish making it evident he was partaking in the excessive use of lip balm. "What are you doing here?" He sat back down quietly and looked out the window; for a second I thought he was ignoring me but finally he spoke.

"I don't know, I had to see you." His flattering words did close to nothing to help piece the puzzle of his presence. 

"I gathered. I also noticed you still have the anklet I gave you which is curious because I'm rather sure you promised me you would burn it like I asked as a metaphor for how our relationship went up in flames." He chuckled at God knows what, but in any case it was clear he was trying to look cute in a conventional sense with his slightly ruffled hair and his constant arm touches for no reason. And how he tried to adorably stuff a treat into my mouth. It was sickening to me, mostly because it was him. 

"Yes well it meant too much to me and I thought maybe someday you would thank me for it." Excuse you? 

"What's that supposed to mean, we are not getting back together no matter how much you manifest it if that is what you're insinuating." There was an extremely valid reason that our relationship fell amongst the 'didn't work out' pile.

"You don't know that!" He was whisper screaming even though there was no one in the room except the two of us and Madam Pomfrey -as everyone knew- was a heavy sleeper. "But, that wasn't why I came. I just wanted to make sure you don't hate me." He spoke in an unrecognisable tone, while purposely looking down at the floor for another try at the 'cute' thing. But his words pissed me off.

"Okay, for the last time, NO! I do not hate you!" I began whisper screaming as well for no reason except that I felt obliged to. 

"Then why did you break up with me? Was it because I was fat, because I've been working out."

"Because of this! The constant insecurity."

"But-"

"NO! I am talking now. The whole relationship was just you going 'do I look too fat in this?' or 'does this make my arms look scrawny?' and me disagreeing with you. And I put up with it because I focussed on all the good aspects of the relationship. How romantic you were, with all your flowers and chocolate and late dates under the stars. But someday, you must have known that I would eventually grow weary of the repetitive asking if I'm breaking up with you and your need for validation. I tried, really I did to help you become proud of how you looked at felt but it was all wasted! I couldn't take it anymore, insecure can't date insecure, they'll just ball up into a pit of self deprecation! But even after all that, no. There's your answer, no. I can't bring myself to hate you. You were, and will always be my first love and my first time and that still means something to me. But these futile conversations we have when you come begging when at this point, you could have any gay in school? These have got to stop. Because I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't." I had made my peace. I had said all I wanted to say and nothing more could be done. I looked up at him and he wasn't shaken up or surprised like I expected him to be, he was actually acting rather smitten and whatever it was, I'm not sure I wanted to know.

Then suddenly, I felt hands grab the sides of my face and in another second, I felt the all-too-familiar feel of lips on mine, moving in intimacy. But then, I heard a click.

"Hey Re- oh crap. TJ?" I immediately pushed TJ away from me. I can't believe I just let him kiss me. Stupid. I looked up to match the face to the voice but all I got was a preview of his back as he made his way to the door again. I didn't have my wand but I had to act fast so I looked around and caught sight of an oddly shaped stick protruding out of the back of TJ's jeans. Grabbing it, I pointed it at the door before he could exit.

"Colloportus." The door locked with a similar click. And the figure turned around to show James in all his glory with a few bars of chocolate in his hand. So I had my ex-boyfriend who is in love with me and one of my best friends who didn't know I was bisexual who just saw me kiss a guy. And he had chocolate. Very important detail.

Oh deer.

Word Count:- 1181

Love, Kale.