MY HOLLY SIN

You are a fallen angel, but what am I?

I've decided, I'm not gonna have this conversation with you, because I can't bear it. I have a broken heart and my soul is hurting all day, everyday. You're the first thing that I think of in the morning and the last thing at night, and I hate it. I hate myself for it. So don't you come here, saying that I'm selfish for redoing something you once told me that you hate, to hurt you where it touches deep, where your pride lays. I haven't done that, and no matter how much you break me, I promised myself I wouldn't. Even though I can't find peace with myself anymore, even though the only thing that I ever regretted in my life is falling for you the way I did, even though I'm trying so goddamn hard to act tough, but I keep losing it all the time. And even though when you're hurt, you make it your life mission to bruise my scars even more and to lay your hands on all my weaknesses, and goddamn you get to me, you get to me every time, and each time, it hurts more than the last, cause you never give me enough time to heal, you just keep on adding up the weight, and I'm strong alright, damn I'm strong, but not that strong, I mean, how can anyone be that strong.
I'm tired, no I'm exhausted. And I gotta make a way to stop from adding even more weight on my shoulders, I gotta get you out of my life, even though I know for a fact that I'll never stop thinking, dreaming, wishing that you'd think of me someday, just one day, the same way I do, with all that intensity, with all that chaos...
I know that all your acts are driven by your pride, but take caution my love, me and you both know the history of great glorious beings with their prides. And do you know who comes at the top of those? Your favorite, Lucifer, the fallen angel, the representative of beauty, glory,perfection, wisdom and preciousness , and who once was the closest to God in Eden, but who also, blinded by the vision he got for himself and driven by his pride and the ego inside of him, traded heaven, a place where 'joy forever dwells' where he was a subject, for an infernal world, hell, even for him, just to be the possessor, the ruler, the most glorious of all, take caution baby, don't turn yourself into an other lucifer, I know you enough to know that you wouldn't handle it...

It's a little one but we made a promise to each other at the first of this, didn't we? We promised not to judge so let's not 🖤 I appreciate you more than anything for reading this 🖤