What do we both feel but we are too ego-filled to admit?

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I wrote something

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I wrote something... I wrote all the feelings I wished you had .. even in the most toxic and selfish ways ... The thing I wished and wish we had .. I wrote a paragraph where you talk, where you tell me you love me... To death. A story where you can't love without me, where you are the tormented one and I'm the cold hearted soul... Here you go baby.. see what I bear on my fantasies..

"I don't know if it's sorcery or black magic, all i know is that she can control me as if she's playing with my voodoo doll. All she have to do is talk to me and i will follow every word, every construction, every order. I don't wanna be her slave anymore, but she has my heart right in the palm of her hand, she could kill me if she wanted to, but i know she'd choose not to. She's too drunk with desires to stop it and I'm too drunk with her to stop her. I can feel the ending getting closer but i can do nothing ,  because deep down i know that i'd rather die in her arms with my own poison mixed by her than live without her sight, her touch and her deadly big eyes. 
My hand doesn't have the strength to take off her broken cuff and it makes me happier, feeling less broken, living inside the delusion that she didn't totally let go of me, she still wants me, she still needs to take everything from me. She needs to make me empty so she can be whole and all i want is make her that.
The solidness is getting closer to my brain but i don't care, she can be my brain. My guts are almost all damaged but hell i don't need them, i have her. My eyes are starting a rebellion of their own, they wanna go to the deepest sleep but i still want her to use me so i fight back for her. She's my everything and I'm her nothing, she's got my heart and i want her to rip it out when she's done with the rest of my body.... at least that way, i can know for sure, that i'll always be ...with heeeeeer ........

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 27, 2022 ⏰

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