𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗻 𝗠𝗮𝘆'𝘀 𝗕𝗮𝗱 𝗛𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝘆 (𝗤𝘂𝗲𝗲𝗻/𝗖𝗕𝗙𝗗 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘆)

I'm A Badger

Alright the crappy times are over, thank Jeebus. XD So all missions given by the catfish and beyond that have been skipped 'cuz they're literally impossible to put into writing and as much I hate to, I've also skipped the mission for the missing cogs for Bat's Tower. I don't know, maybe I'll go back to it later, but for now, we're jumping right into the stone age missions I guess. 

Anyways this wasn't really proofread all that much, but whatever. Enjoy. 😝

*****

Brian sighed in relief, quite glad they defeated the gigantic shit monster. "So what next?"

"There looks to be a door down here," Roger tells him, pointing down into the massive empty hole.

The curly haired guitarist looked over the edge of the drop off to see a platform directly underneath them at the edge of the hole, where a rope was connected to the wall, which lead down towards another platform where the door was at. "I guess we jump in," he says. "Come on."

"Yeah, but--"

"Come on, Rog," Brian says, waving the other along as he sits on the edge of the drop off and jumps down. 

Despite his dislike for heights, Roger sat on the edge, and with a deep breath, he jumped down onto the platform next to Brian as he dreaded the next phase in having to the climb down the rope, which looked unstable and could possibly snap under their weight.

"I'll go first," Brian says.

"Be careful," the blonde tells him.

Brian just smiled at him as he slid himself off the edge, and very slowly he climbed down, the rope making a cracking sound from the weight. Then a few moments later, the guitarist called up to him.

"Your turn, Rog!"

Well here goes nothing. With another deep breath, the blonde grabbed the rope and carefully slid down backwards off the ledge.

Brian backed up a bit towards the door to watch Roger climb down, and as he got about halfway down, the rope suddenly snapped, and Roger let out a startled scream as he went down. The guitarist quickly ran forward, catching the blonde in his arms. (Good thing he didn't fall into the hole 'cuz god knows where it leads. Haha jk, it leads back to the poo cabin 'cuz video game logic I guess. :P)

"Oof!" he grunts as Roger lands on top of him, knocking them both backwards to the ground.

Roger giggled and Brian began to blush at just how close their faces were as he felt that same familiar feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. The more he reminded himself this wasn't real, the more he began to doubt his own thoughts. This all felt truly real.

Noticing the curly haired man's troubled look, Roger climbed off the taller man and stood up. "What's wrong?" he asks as he holds out a hand to help the other stand up.

Brian shook his head as he climbed to his feet. "I just...I don't know."

But Roger didn't look convinced by that simple answer. "You can tell me."

He looked at Roger and sighed. "It's just, I keep getting these feelings, and the more I convince myself that none of this is real, I start to doubt it. I--Bloody hell, I don't even know anymore. Is any of this real?" he asks, gesturing to their surroundings and referring to the strange world he's in. "Are you even real? Does any of this make any--"

The blonde closed the distance between them, and placed a soft kiss to his lips. It was now their second kiss, only this one felt different than the last one from when Roger was a scarecrow. This time it almost felt right. Caught off guard, Brian's eyes widened and Roger giggled at his reaction as he backed away a bit.

"Was that real enough for you?" he asks with a cheeky bite of his bottom lip.

It took Brian a moment to register what just happened before he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. His mind screamed at him to ask the blonde to do that again or at least kiss him back, but he couldn't find the words to speak or find the courage to make a move as something in the very back of his mind was still holding him back, convincing him this wasn't real. No, he's still a scarecrow. He's not a human. Or is he?

"Come on, let's get going," Roger says.

*****

"Oi, would you stop being all jumpy, it's getting rather annoying," the blonde says to the frizzy haired servant boy. "Jeez, why the bloody hell did the master stick me with you?"

"Sorry, it's just they're taking too long and I really have to go," the boy says. "I had those bean burritos for lunch."

He scrunched up his nose in disgust towards the other boy. "You're out of luck, bro. Look where we are. There's nowhere to go. You're gonna have to hold it."

The servant boy groaned. He was right, there was nowhere to go since they were currently standing at the entrance of a bridge, which was surrounded by molten hot lava, that led to a large village of dinosaurs and cavemen that weren't exactly welcoming to the outsiders.

"I can't hold it," he whines. "I gotta go now."

The blonde boy rolled his eyes. "Then go behind that rock over there."

The servant boy scurried behind the rock and began to really let go, and while the blonde was trying his best to ignore all the grunting noises and other sounds from behind the rock, he suddenly caught sight of what looked like two humans, one with long curly hair, who was tall, and one with long blonde hair, coming his way.

"Sorry mates, but I can't let you through," the blonde haired servant boy says as the two approach.

Brian looked at him suspiciously. "And why not?"

"We're looking for a tall human," the boy says.

Ignoring the grunting noises coming from behind the rock, Brian raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

"Can you describe this tall human?" Roger asks.

"Well," the boy begins, eyeing up Brian. "You are tall, you have curly hair, and you're a human."

Deciding to mess with him, Brian grinned. "I'm not a human."

"Yes you are, mate. You fit the description of what we're looking for, so if you'll just come with me."

The blonde servant boy stepped forward and grabbed Brian's hand. "Look, I'm telling you I'm not a human," he says, pulling away from him.

The servant boy looked at him in confusion. "Then what are you?"

"Duh, I'm a badger!"

"A badger?" the boy asks. "I've never seen one of those before."

"Well, he's a badger and he's mine," Roger adds in, hooking a protective arm around the taller's man waist. "And you can't have him, so if you'll excuse us now, we'll be on our way." 

"Bye," Brian says as they walk off together across the bridge.

At that moment, the frizzy haired servant boy came out from behind the rock with a look of relief on his face. "Ahhh, there's nothing quite like a good old fashioned shit! Now then..." he trails off as he see's a blonde and a tall curly haired human walking off across the bridge. "Wait, what?"

"It's alright, that wasn't a tall human," the blonde boy says. "That was a badger."

"Really, a badger?" he asks in disbelief. "You stupid twat..."