Always You

13

Arthit's POV

The day Kongpob had told me he was dating someone was also the day I had felt, for the first time, the disparity between the two of us. I had hoped and willed for something beautiful only to be presented with an 'I am not gay Arthit'.

I went home that night, waiting for the imminent tears to shed as soon as I was in the secure walls of my room. But no matter how hard I tried, even snorting my nose a few times, they refused to shed. Perhaps it was because I wasn't in the solid arms of Kongpob, which had for quite some time been my shelter. Or, something that was also probable, due to the fact that I refused to accept what he had told me earlier in the day. One could have mistaken a couple of signs, but all of them? The stolen gazes, the unreasonable worry, the endless bottles of pink milk that decorated my table each day or even the not so subtle jealous glances thrown towards almost any being near me. If he wanted me to explicitly believe, that what we had was just a bout of lust, supposed to be considered a mistake and tossed out, he would have to convince me harder. Two shoddy words were not enough to back-pedal the intoxicating feelings that were certainly mutual.

Even now, after days of the wretched encounter, he had not stopped acting concerned. Gazes were yet stolen and take away boxes still graced my table when I skipped lunch. So, criticise me all you want and think of me as unworldly, I still called bullshit.

But it doesn't mean I was okay. Far from it actually. Each time Kongpob withdrew from me or recoiled at my touch or gaze, I distinctly felt a part of me break. If this continued any longer, there wouldn't be a single adhesive in the world that would be able to fix the pieces back together. If Kongpob didn't deem our relationship important enough to face his demons, whatever they were, were my hopes and pursuits even justified? I wasn't okay with picturing Kongpob on his dates, each night before sleep. She was going to be the luckiest girl since he was the most attentive and loving person I knew. And it killed me to wonder what exactly happened on those inconspicuous dates.

So, trying to keep my sanity intact, I did what I had to, no matter how extreme it was. The consequences of which thundered upon me exactly a day after mailing the letter.

It was a chilly afternoon, one I spent in the recreational room with Jennie and a few other colleagues. I was browsing through random apps when I heard whispers and soft voices around me. I looked around to find everyone straightening their spines with eyes fixated on an incoming figure.

"Is that Kongpob? I have never seen him down here. And why does he look furious enough to summon a storm?"

Kongpob did appear mad enough to do that. And what's worse, he was staring directly at me, as he stomped pass the frightened crowds. His brows furrowed even more as he saw Joss leaning close and whispering, what he had right now, to me. He stopped in front of my chair and bent sufficiently low to meet my eyes.

"Arthit, can I speak to you for a moment?" His voice resonated in the room which had been silent since he approached me.

The calm voice hid a bellowing thunder beneath, which only I could perceive. But I needed to hold my ground at whatever cost.

"Sure." And made no effort to get up, challenging him in his own game.

"In private."

"Dude, get up." Jennie nudged me as she regarded Kongpob with nervousness.

"I am really busy right now." I waved my phone in front of him. "Can we talk after the break gets over?" He was not my boss anymore. At least not after two months.

His jaw twitched as he stared unblinkingly. "Arthit it's either you get up or I haul you in my arms out of here." A collective gasp ran throughout the room as I felt all the blood in my system make a run for my cheeks. But his words had the desired effect and I walked right out of the room, avoiding the assorted looks thrown my way, with Kongpob tailing behind me. My feet had only crossed the thresholds of the rec room when my arm was seized strongly, pulling me towards the staircase.