To Fall And Conquer (It Girls Series #2)

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Not All Friday Nights Are Fun

I went quiet for a few seconds, my mouth slightly parted and my eyes grew a little wide upon hearing what he said. 

“G-Gusto mo na ‘kong umalis? P-Pagod ka na ba sa’kin? S-Sorry. D-Don’t worry, I’ll talk to your coach. Papakiusapan ko siya na h’wag kang isuspend.” I said, my voice cracking. 

His jaw clenched. “Mona—” 

I tried to convince myself to stay composed but the moment I heard him called my name, I lost it. 

“I know,” I cut him off as tears start falling from my eyes abundantly. “I know you’re sick from all the troubles that I’m giving you and I’m sorry, Ciel… I’m sorry kung parati na lang ganito… Sorry kung parati ka na lang napapa-away dahil sa’kin… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” I said, sobbing hard and some of my words are quite inaudible because of my sobs and cracked voice. 

I know, I’m putting words into his mouth but I couldn’t just bear to hear those words coming from him… Pakiramdam ko mas lalong masakit kung sa kanya mismo manggagaling ang mga salitang iyon. 

“Mona, that’s not what I meant,” he paused, slightly pushing a sigh as he firmly brushed his fingers through those slight curls. 

On my lowest times, he would usually cup my face, wipe my tears, and assures me that everything will be alright… but now he’s just watching me with his firm expression and slightly parted mouth, as if he doesn’t even know what to say anymore. 

Napangisi ako nang mapait sa loob-loob ko. 

Pagod na nga siya. 

Nahihiya ako. Nahihiya ako sa kanya. I can’t even look at him in the eyes knowing how much burden I’ve been to him ever since my life screwed up. I feel ashamed that he had to keep up with a miserable girl like me. 

“Mona…” He called me and I was forced to look at him in the eyes. He was still staring at me with troubled eyes and still slightly parted lips.

He licked his bottom lip before finally speaking. “Ikaw lang naman ang iniisip ko, eh. Para sa’yo naman ‘yon… Kaysa naman sa nandito ka nga, halos araw-araw ka namang binabastos.” He said, his jaw clenching at his last sentence. 

“Bakit ako ang kailangang umalis, Ciel?” Humihikbi kong tanong. “Bakit hindi na lang sila ang tumigil sa pambabastos sa’kin? Wala naman akong kasalanan sa kanila para ganituhin nila ako… You told me to not let my anger consume this beautiful thing inside my chest, Ciel. That’s what I did! I chose to have a beautiful heart but why do they keep on doing ugly things to me?” I questioned in both pain and anger. 

“Ako na nga ang sinasaktan nila, Ciel pero bakit ako pa rin ang kailangang mag-adjust? You all making me leave is worse than telling me to cover myself up to avoid myself from getting harassed. I don’t need to leave! They’re the ones who needs to stop harassing me!” I cried painfully. 

I was hurt. I was so hurt with how heartless these people are. Why do people find joy in other’s pain and sufferings? Where do they get all the guts to make someone’s life miserable? 

This is not the kind of world that I wanted my future daughter to live in. This society is getting cruel and cruel everyday…

His lips hangs slightly open but then he closes it again. He let out a deep sigh, as if trying to find his words. 

“I… I’m sorry.” He said. 

I looked at him in the eyes as my tears kept falling. I didn’t made an effort to stop myself from crying because I wanted him to see me, I wanted him to see that it will break me the moment I leave this place, the moment I leave them… him.