Against The Destiny

Simula

#GrizaldeSimula

As I make my way out of the house, my eyes went to the sun that is currently sinking. The amber color of the sky looks so beautiful while the birds are flying. The sounds of the waves crashing to the shore and the breeze of the salty winds. Everything are just so perfect, beautiful, and relaxing.

But despite of all of these, it didn't help to heal my wounded heart for the past months.

I close my eyes and inhale deeply, focusing to feel the calm and tamed surroundings not untill I heard coming steps.

"Taray, anong eksena 'yan?"

I sigh heavily before facing Rakea who's sporting a teasing smirk as she scan me. She's now maybe laughing me inside of her brain because she just caught me being too emotional.

"Pinag sasabi mo?"

Naiirita kong sagot, I went here to get a peace of mind but I failed because Rakea is here. Nasa batanggas kami ngayon, kaming dalawa lang ang nandito ngayon sa bahay ni Lola at wala ang iba. She's not actually invited, I'm the only one who planned to visit Lola but she smelled it.

"Tumatapang kana ha? Ano ipinag lalaban mo, asawa mong walang pake sa'yo?"

And now, she totally ruined my alone time. I bent a bit to reach for the cold rock, binato ko sa kaniya pero tumatwa itong umiwas.

"You better shut your mouth."

I warned, pero dahil gawa sa metal ang ulo nito, hinding hindi siya makikinig.

"You can't just accept the truth." she mocked and rolled her eyes on me before she shifted her weight to watch the sun sinking.

Natahimik ako at tinitigan siya, she's busy playing with her gum. She suddenly went serious, her eyes glistened with the ray of the amber sun. She sigh in the same time that a chirping bird past by in front of us and fly higher again.

We both followed it, the bird fly faster to reach its other companions.

Rakea suddenly sigh heavily.

"Honestly..." My heart thumped fast when she started her words. "... I did not expect to see you in this situation."

The echo of the waves followed her words. I lift my hand to envelope my small frame, it's getting cold, but Rakea doesn't seem to care, she remain watching the sky.

I did not expected to see myself in this situation, too, Rakea. All of us are confused how did I got stuck in this kind of life.

"Among all of us, ikaw ang pinaka matapang. Mas matapang ka pa kay Xanthus, bobo 'yon eh."

She slowy turned to me, but my eyes remain straight, looking out of nowhere.

"But look at you now."

I turn my eyes to her, she scanned me with her eyes full of sympathy which I hate the most.

"Hindi na ikaw 'yan."

I felt my chest getting heavy and heavier. I lowered down my head and just chose to stare the ground.

She's right, this isn't me anymore.

Maging ako ay naguguluhan sa sarili ko, why am I letting this to happen? I could free myself, I could fly again and chase for my dreams, but why am I kept on chosing to be in this fuck up life?

"I'm not blaming you, I don't hate you and you know that. You're the most precious girl for me Lary, but... I couldn't blame Tita Jesa."

And suddenly, Mom's disappointed words echoed inside of my head. I sighed and clenched my fist, tears starts to form at the corner of my eyes.