txt one shots⚣

i'll be dead by dawn ; beomjun

warnings:

•really angsty
•mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts and actions

♡︎♡︎♡︎

beomgyu laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly. he felt so numb; and he wished to feel something, anything, but he couldn't.

without his love, he was left lonely and yearning for that warmness he got when he was around him. but he was dead. choi yeonjun was fucking dead.

and beomgyu refused to cope with it; no, he couldn't. physically and mentally, choi beomgyu couldn't comprehend the fact that choi yeonjun was gone forever. he wouldn't allow himself to believe it.

"i hate this," he whimpered, his heart clenching painfully. "i just want to die."

death. oh how often beomgyu would think about it. it just seemed so inviting. he wouldn't have to deal with his loneliness anymore, he wouldn't have to try to fill the hole in his heart with fake happiness like drugs and random men in his bed, and he wouldn't have to simply breathe anymore; nowadays it seemed like a task to even breathe.

he was just so tired. his life had lost all meaning once yeonjun left him. he fucking left him. it angered beomgyu and left him with a whirlwind of emotions he choose just to bottle up.

everyone could see how the young boy was deteriorating. he wasn't as bright as he used to be. he wasn't funny as he used to be. he wasn't as energetic as he used to be. no, the old beomgyu was so cheerful, but that's when he had yeonjun in his life.

it was as if yeonjun had taken the light within beomgyu with him once he passed away. he was now dim and gloomy. laying down with his thoughts, that's why beomgyu got an idea. an idea that would end all of his suffering.

he would just kill himself. it was as simple as that.

for the first time in weeks, beomgyu gets himself out of bed, almost collapsing onto the ground since he was frail; he hadn't eaten all those weeks he was just wallowing in his own self pity. and he still wasn't hungry. yeonjun had seemingly taken his appetite along with him.

beomgyu made his way into the bathroom and started at his mess of a self in the mirror with awe. he was just so fucking gone it was scary to see, even to himself. his cheeks were hallow, his eyes bloodshot were barren and bleak, his lips were down turned in a miserable pout, and his nose with red with all the times he aggressively rubbed it. he looked basically dead already.

the young boy then proceeded to take out a bottle of bleach from underneath the cabinet, staring at the label that said in all caps, "DO NOT CONSUME, IT WILL LEAD TO DEATH." beomgyu scoffed at the label and unscrewed the top, cringing at the strong scent.

as soon as he was about to consume the contents in the bottle, he gets a text message from his best friend, kang taehyun.

it read:

taehyun:

beom, hope you're doing well! i haven't heard from you in awhile and it's a bit concerning. please contact me as soon as you can!

one last pic and i'll be gone, beomgyu thinks with a sad smile.

he brings his hand up in a peace sign and smiles for the picture, sending it to taehyun with this caption.

beomgyu:

i'll be dead by dawn.

then he puts down his phone, turning it off. he then downs the whole bottle of bleach, coughing and spluttering at the disgusting taste. soon, his throat starts to burn harshly, as he feels a sticky wet substance fall onto his palms.

he sobs as he feels the excruciating pain of himself hacking up blood, but also happy. he was finally going to die.

his phone started to go off with numerous of texts and phone calls, probably from a frantic taehyun, but beomgyu couldn't be bothered to check it.

he just slid down to the floor, wheezing and unable to breathe. all he could taste was metal and his vision was turning black.

and true to his words, beomgyu was dead by dawn.

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fuck i'm sad.