I'm Not Dead

[ C H . 2 4 ]

My teeth chattered as I gripped the ankles of the Joker and dragged his limp body across the lawn. Even with my leather trench coat clinging to me, the brisk morning air nipped at my nose and chin. I figured the weather would warm as the day trickled on, or my body temperature would rise from mending the fence, but until then I was condemned to shiver.

Originally, Lorenzo was supposed to be the one clearing splattered Jokers off Joe's lawn, but my twisted ankle made it hard to do manual labor efficiently. So, in hope of mending the fence before Joe changed his mind about shooting me, we swapped jobs. Since then, Lorenzo has been avoiding my gaze and I've been avoiding him entirely. A task that wasn't difficult when you were smothered with the smell of decaying bodies. That and the inconsolable throb in my wrapped ankle. The only way I could keep my bile down from the foul smell and dull pain was pulling my shirt over my nose while thinking about anything else.

At first, I thought about mom, but when the unknown location of her body made it hard to breathe, I tried to think about something more neutral.

Funny enough, Randy came to mind.

As Joe sat on his porch with his gun across his lap and a grey cup of black coffee in hand, my heart ached for a boss like Randy. While he was unpleasant, the man had his moments. I remember one time I came into work late and obviously depressed. I have no doubt he intended on yelling at me, but one look at my droopy face and he offered to let me take a longer lunch break instead. To some, the gesture may seem meaningless, but that small act of kindness pulled me through the remainder of my day. I hope he was alive and somewhere safe. If not, I hope his death was quick.

"This way! Come on!"

At the sound of Alice's voice, my head snapped in the direction of her and a little girl running across the lawn with two Barbie's in hand that had wings strapped to their backs. Dropping the ankles of the Joker, I quickly hobbled between the girls and the pile of the dead before they got to close to see anything gnarly.

"Who's your friend carrot?" I asked, offering the unnamed little girl a smile.

"This is Olivia, she's Mr. Caswell's daughter!" Alice exclaimed, an excited smile on her face as she showed me the doll she was playing with. "We're playing the great fairy adventure, they have to find the berries that make them fly before they lose the last of their magic. Would you like to play with us? You can be the troll king!"

Chuckling, I grabbed my sister and spun her around in the direction of the house before gently nudging Olivia in the same direction. "I'm afraid I can't, I have chores to do. Anyways, I'm not ugly enough to play a troll king."

Planting her heels in the ground, Alice pushed back against me. "Okay, well, maybe Enzo will want to play. Let me go ask him."

Shaking my head, I continued to corral the girls towards the house. "Enzo can't either. You guys should go inside, it's not safe out here."

"Yes, it is, Mr. Caswell said we could play outside." She insisted, turning around to look up at me with a pout and sad icy blue eyes.

"My dad lets me play outside all the time, he says the monsters can't get in here. You're being rude," Olivia added, clutching her doll to her chest as her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. She shared her mother's dark hair, but the rest of her undoubtedly came from her father.

Swallowing thickly, I forced the smile to stay on my face as I squatted down to the height of the child and gestured towards the broken fence, where Lorenzo was working hard to break up the ground with the post hole digger.

"You see my brother over there, Olivia, he's fixing the fence. Until he's finished, the monsters can get in and they can get you. I'm not being rude, I'm trying to keep you and Alice safe. Do you understand?" While my voice was firm, I tried to keep it nonthreatening for the sake of hurting her feelings. I didn't like disciplining kids, but I'd be damned if I let either child get dragged off into the woods by a pack of Jokers. Especially Alice.