Prison of Love &Pain

Chapter 2-Lee Hyukjae Part 2

Hyukjae's POV

Before we continue with the story of my most precious victim and how I got caught, you are surely curious about my life beside being a killer, right? If not I'm very sorry -not- but I will give you a little excerpt from my daily life.

A few weeks ago

No one's POV

It was a nice warm day in the summer. Almost everyone was enjoying the beautiful weather, except for the people who had to work, like Lee Hyukjae. Even as a child he never had been allowed to go out and enjoy the nice weather in the summer. He always had to go straight home after school or he would receive a punishment. the same went for his grades in school. If they were bad he would have to endure the punishment of his father. Unfortunately, Hyukjae had dyslexia and therefore always had brought bad grades in languages at home. No matter how hard the punishment had been, no matter how hard Hyukjae had studied, due to this disability he hadn't been able to receive good grades. He had never been allowed to play with other children in his age until he was a teenager and found ways and accusations to stay away from his home longer. It was also the time he had had his first boyfriend...and it had been a huge risk. Had his father found out, Hyukjae didn't know if he even would be still living right now.

Anyways, right now Hyukjae was working at a clothing store for men. He was a seller there, and every now and then he gave advice to customers. No one would have suspected him to be a killer. 

Hyukjae always tried his best to be nice and charming to customers, even on days he rather either wanted to lock himself in his small apartment or just yell out all his frustration and anger at someone or something. His boss loved him and never regretted once to have accepted the other's application, even though there had been a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. He had given him a chance and on the interview Hyukjae had done well and immediately got accepted. This happened nine years ago when he was 18. His father had wanted him to enroll in university but no university had accepted him so there was only one other option, working. Why a clothing store? To anger his father.

Now at the age of 27 Hyukjae still had the wish to go back to his childhood and spent it as a normal child and loving parents instead of the childhood he had had. An alcohol addicted father who would punish him for the smallest things and a prostitute as a mother. Who didn't wish for such parents? He wasn't even sure if the monster he called father for so long was his biological father. His father had probably only been one of his mother's customers and then she got pregnant and told him it was his. As naive as he was he believed it and took responsibilty. From what Hyukjae knew it had ruined him either way. His father had been the owner of a very popular and good-selling clothing brand and after this scandal broke out -of course it got public- he had lost everything he had. Before Hyukjae moved out they had lived in a small apartment, smaller than his current apartment, his mother had been barely at home, while his father had no job and hadn't got that she was cheating on him and still making men happy with her body.

Hyukjae had been more than happy after moving out of the living hell but sometimes he fell into depression. He had given everything to just have had a normal childhood. To just be a normal guy. But Hyukjae had two sides. His other side, the sadistic side he had discovered at a young age and always kept to himself. He had a strange fascination towards seeing others in pain. He had comitted his first murder at a very young age as well. The only murder he regretted and would never forget.

Hyukjae's POV

I remembered it like it happened yesterday. He was the most perfect man in the world, he was my world and I was lucky to have him. He was my boyfriend and we had to hide our relationship, but he didn't seem to mind, as long as he could be with me he said he was fine. Leeteuk is what most called him. But Park Jungsoo was his real name, a name which would never vanish from my mind. He was a true angel, his skin was fair and milky white, his eyes were of a soft brown in which I couldn't have seen more happiness than he already did. I had loved his eyes, the only pair of eyes that had ever looked at me with love, but even more had I been in love with his smile. The dimples that appeared when hismy angel was smiling, I couldn't help but always gently pinch his cheek. Yes, when I was with my boyfriend I had always shown him my gentle side, a side only very close people would see but he was the only one close enough to me to be allowed to see. 

He had been slightly taller than me and had had soft, blonde hair. He was perfect, from head to toe. Other than me Jungsoo had had a wonderful childhood and his parents had been treating me as their own child. I had been so happy with him and I could tell him everything which bothered me, he always listened and comforted me. He was just so perfect and now he just wasn't here anymore.. He left me.. He left my heart bleeding but at the same time he awakened something inside me... The urge to kill.

I loved him more than anything in the world, I like to believe I always will. But what I did to him...I don't even remember since I didn't allow myself to remember it. One second we were making love and the next I open my eyes to see blood all over me...And his dead body. I felt horrible, like I was given something great and just crushed it as easily as you can crush a pea. 

We were probably one of the sweetest and cutest couples in all of South Korea, But when we were alone, when we were making love, something changed. We were open for everything: slow sex full of love, BDSM, everything which could come up to your mind, but what we started to like the most was knife play. We would do it at places no one would get to see, so the neck and arms and legs were a no. We didn't go swimming or anything so the torso was a yes. No one would have expected us to be like this. And I wouldn't have ever expected one of our making love sessions to end like this.

I didn't know what exactly happened, I don't want to know, I don't want to remember what I did, how I got rid of his body afterwards. It broke me and I found a little comfort at the Park family but I felt too guilty to stay with them. As soon as I turned 18 I got a job and moved out from my parents' place. My father almost had murdered me after he found out about everything.

I still could hardly believe what I had done, I still felt so guilty but there also had been a different feeling when I saw all the blood, his dead body, his face which looked like he was only sleeping. I still couldn't describe the feeling but from this point I knew I wanted more. This had just been the beginning but I never was able to find it again and still hoped to find it one day.

"Hyukjae-sshi. Yah, are you alright?" I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts, seeing one of my co-workers waving his hand in front of my face. I blinked and slowly nodded. 

"Yes, I was only thinking, don't worry." I gave him a fake smile and he nodded.

"Go and get some fresh air, your eyes are suddenly so glassy and you turned pale. I will take over everything for a while since we don't have many customers today." I nodded and left the store. Yes, some fresh air would do me good. It had been almost 10 years but the pain sat still deep inside me.

Later I should find out that this was only the beginning of countless murders and the satisfaction I longed for yet not the feeling to be complete.