//I was late, but i arrived//

//I haven't met her since i know you Kate//

Matty tastes like cigarettes and coffee. He kisses me once and waits for my reaction. I refuse the kiss and it's getting deeper now. His hands lay on my waist, i put mine on his breast. I can feel his heartbeat, beating very fast and loud.

We break the kiss breathless. "Wow Kate, that was...amazing" I smile in agreement. I open my mouth to say something but Matty's phone starts ringing, destroying the moment. Matty takes his phone, looking who is calling and runs his hand through his hair, embarrassed. "Hey love, whats up?" Love?! I guess he doesn't call one of his friends like that. Then i remember that blonde girl, what was her name again? Gemma, yeah. That must be her. "Well, yes of course. No i am not at home right now. Yeah meet me in 20 okay? Yeah, yeah bye" After hanging up Matty looks at me. "Kate, i have to meet a...friend, okay? I will drive you home for sure and-" "It was Gemma right?" He frozes. I turn in the direction we came from, want to return to his car, but Matty stops me by grabbing my hand. "Kate, please listen. Gemma is...she is a friend. Yeah we were messing around and stuff, but i haven't met her since i know you Kate. Gemma was my girlfriend for a long time and after breaking up we still often end up in bed." I look in Matty's eyes. They seem sad and scared. I take a deep breathe before i put his face between my hands and kiss him. "Its okay Matty. When you say she is just a friend i will believe you. It's not like we are together, we aren't. You can do what you want. Lets go now" Matty wraps his arms around me for a hug. I hide my face on his chest, breathing his perfume. Then we slowly walk back to his car.

That was the last time i have met Matty, and that was nearly two weeks ago.

I wake up, looking on my phone for texts or calls from Matty, but nothing. He didn't text or call yet. Maybe i should text him, but who knows why he can't text. I get out of bed, i have to work today. Rebecca, by the way, is on holiday with her boyfriend Ben, a birthday present from him. I miss her soo much.

Arriving at the bakery i notice someone is waiting outside. It's George. "Hey Kate right?" "Yes, hey.Are you waiting for somebody?" "Yeah, actually Adam and Ross want to pick me up here." "With Matty?" He shakes his head. "No, we haven't seen him for a while. I guess he is making out with some girl, because then he always doesn't-" Then he realizes to who he is talking to. "Oh shit. I am sorry, i should not be the one telling you that!" I can feel the tears streaming down my face. "He always does that?" George sighs. "Yes, he...doesn't really look for a girlfriend right now. You know, he still just hang around with his last real girlfriend Gemma. They never really broke up and when she calls him, he goes to her." That was like a slap in my face. I can't breathe, so everything Matty said, did was NOTHING for him?! I remember the first time i met him, with Gemma when i was thinking they are a couple. I wasn't wrong at all. "Kate? Are you okay? I am sorry i didn't want that for you. You seem to be a nice girl. You know Matty isn't a bad guy, but he is just Matty" "Please ,stop. It's alright, i- i am fine. I have to go now" I turn around, running home again. Fuck work, fuck life, fuck love, fuck...Matty

I don't leave home for the next week. I just stay at home, watching cheesy romantic movies and cry all the time. And if it's not enough Matty calls every hour. And he texts, 'Where are you?', 'Do you have time? Can i come around?' And more, but i don't answer.

Then suddenly someone is knocking on my door. "Kate? I know you are there. Hey love whats wrong?" I go to the door, sit down with my back to the door. I can hear Matty breathing, it seems like i can even hear his heart beating but i guess it's just mine. As if he could heard me, he says "Kate, please tell me what have i done?" But i don't answer. How should i explain, that i am confused and disappointed about him. I just pray he will leave me alone, but i can hear him sitting down on the other side just as me. And we sit there for hours and hours without saying a word.

..................

Aww guys i loove that chapter.

Soo it's nearly New Years Eve and i want to say a massive thank you to everyone reading my story, means really a lot to me. I hope we will spend the next year together too;))

Much love, Sarah xx