It was always you

Chapter 7

"Katie?" Sasha meant for it to be more of a statement than a question.

"What are you doing here Sash?" Clayton asked

"What's going on? Why is Katie here?" Sasha panicked.

"That's what I wanted to talk about, Monica is my girlfriend", Sasha's confused, "You mean Katie, I mean Kate Browning?"

"Actually my name is Monica Kate Browning" Monica spoke up, "Oh" Sasha frowned.

"Look we need to talk Sash, can we go to the room and just have a conversation? I didn't mean for you to find out this way", Clayton dropped his luggage and closed the front door and gestured to his own room. "Did you know?" feeling disappointed, Sasha asked Mateo, he simply shook his head.

They entered Clay's room, looking around Sasha knew why Mateo didn't want her to stay in here, it needs some major cleaning she thought. She never felt awkward with Clay, maybe it's because of the huge elephant in the room, she felt completely uneasy.

"Look Sash, I'm sorry" Clay broke the deafening silence.

"Just tell me everything. But start with, why her?" her voice was a little harsher than intended.

"It started out as just us chilling and hanging out when you and Drake got together" she cringed at his name, he then fisted his hands and continued "then when Drake did what he did to you, I started pulling away, we weren't on speaking terms for awhile, then a few days before we... uh..." Sasha nodded, she knew what he meant so she did not press on, they were both present, they both knew what happened. "So we made up, and I wanted to tell you earlier, but at that point you just went through a traumatic experience, then we.. uh.. Then I left, not knowing how you would react, so I took the job and tried to push the guilt away, and now I'm back for good, and you are my best friend Sash, I need you in my life." he leaned forward to hug her for the first time in 3 years, she hugged him back, feeling his warmth but she couldn't help but feel something different, however she couldn't put a pin on what has changed.

She pulled away, and said "but I don't think I'm comfortable with her being here, she testified against me! She testified and she accused me of lying and cheating, and framing Drake!", without realising her voice got higher. "I just wished you would've told me earlier, I could mentally prepare myself. I never thought of bumping into her again, I never thought she would bring back so many painful memories that I tried so hard to push away and heal from. I never thought you would've kept a secret from me, we've been best friends for so long Clay. I'm disappointed and upset, I'm disappointed that you felt like you needed to hide things from me, yes I might have gotten pissed when I first found out back then, but who's to say I wouldn't have forgiven you? We've been friends for so long, I would've understood Clay, I wouldn't have liked it, but I would've understood"she paused to sigh, "Do you love her?"

"I don't know, I think I do"

"Okay, I won't make you choose, it won't be fair for you. I will try my best to get along with her" Sasha said defeatedly.

"She's changed, she actually would like to apologize to you for lying, and she would love to make amends with you, for what he did to you. She's a really nice girl Sash, just try for me por favor?"

"Okay" she nodded, and walked towards the door, but Clay held her hand to stop her. "Why are you here with Mateo? Did you stay over?" he questioned suspiciously.

"Raph and I are over, something happened and I just had to crash here with Mateo last night" Sasha didn't feel like explaining to him, "Don't worry Clay, I will leave soon".

"That's not what I meant Sash, we still need to talk" knowing where this conversation is leading to, "Don't worry Clay, we weren't supposed to be with each other, we've been friends and we will always be best friends, loud and clear. That night was a mistake, that kiss, it was nothing, we were both vulnerable, good thing we didn't go all the way right? As you said that night, don't ruin the friendship for a meaningless thing" Sasha stated bitterly, thinking back on how much of a jerk he was that night. "We ironed out all of our issues that night, remember? You said that if we ever crossed the line, it would just be meaningless? Nothing but sex, because you would never see me in that light. You knew I had a crush on you growing up, you knew and you've always maintained that we will never be anything more. I get it, I heard you the first time and every time after that. Don't worry Clay, we will always be best friends", her heart clenched, she did not realise she was still harboring hurt from 3 years ago.