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No More Dream

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•jungkook•

Tonight will be our first live performance ever and since the day I knew the date, I was growing nervous as it got closer.

I've been practicing really hard but I always got that feeling that I'll mess up the dance or that I'll forget the lyrics.

Just the thought of it makes my heart beat a little faster.

You know that feeling when you're about to do an oral presentation and even if you know the topic by heart, just the thought of having about 20 pair of eyes looking at you and waiting for you to make the slightest mistake puts you under pressure.

So much pressure.

That's how I've been feeling for a few weeks now. And this is worse now that we're backstage, fixing our hair and outfits.

I don't want to mess everything up, Namjoon hyung is so happy about our debut, we've gone through some rough times as trainees, I can't deceive him.

I can't deceive the fans.

I can't deceive BTS.

- Kookie-ah, are you dressed? We have to do your make-up and fix your hair! One of the make-up noonas yelled.

- I'm c-coming, noona! I responded, stuttering a little.

- Aren't you excited? Taehyung asked, all bouncy and smiley while he was getting his hair fixed.

- Mhm. I just hummed, smiling awkwardly.

I'm just so nervous I can't help it.

- I'm done Jungkook-ah, is everybody ready? She asked, looking around her to check the others.

- Yeah. They all said in unison.

I check time on my phone and feel my heart sink as I read the numbers that appeared on the screen.

7:42pm.

In 18 minutes, we'll be on stage.

Suddenly it all feels so real.

I'm fanning myself a little as I was starting to sweat. I'm hot. (ofc ur hot 👀)

Too hot.

- Don't stress Kookie, you'll do well! Namjoon hyung reassured me, patting my tensed shoulders.

- Okay.. I whispered, not really convinced about it.

I can feel my heartbeat pick up its pace and my stomach can't stop churning...

I'm starting to feel nauseous.

I'm like in a trance.

I hear the MC talking in the mic

I see everybody rushing around me

I'm putting my earpiece absent-mindedly, as though my body was acting by itself.

I look at the digital clock on the wall.

7:52pm

8 minutes before we go on stage.

I was now fidgeting as I hear the loud cheers and screams from the fans.

My hands were trembling.

What's happening to me?

I feel a bit more nauseous than I already was so I decided I'd go calm down a little in the bathroom.