Can a person find happiness when all they've known in life is pain?
Can a single father and his daughter show her that there is more to life than torment?
Will she be able to leave her past behind?
"No! Please, not anymore! I don't want to, please! It hurts!"
My eyes shoot open and I look around the darkness. My heart is beating fast and my breathing comes out in short puffs. I feel a tightness in my chest that makes it harder to breathe. My body is drenched in sweat and I kick the covers off my body, I feel like I'm suffocating.
I sit up and lean against the headboard, bringing my knees to my chest. I try to control my breathing as I sit in the darkness. "Go away, go away, go away," I repeat, covering my face with my shaky hands. My eyes start watering but I squeeze them shut to stop the tears. I will not shed another tear because of you.
The digital clock on my bedside table reads 4:25 A.M. I reach over and turn the lamp on. God, I barely got any sleep.
Instead of letting my mind run amok with the memories of the past, I get out of bed, fixing the covers and pillows the way I always do. I then get in the shower, letting the scalding water burn the thoughts, in hopes it will destroy them completely.
I hate this. I hate the way I feel after the vivid nightmares. I hate that I can still feel his hands on my body after I wake up. That I can still hear his voice and laughter. I hate that the moment I think the nightmares have stopped, they come back and drown me with the memories of all those nights.
As I get ready, I take my time. I slowly moisturize my body with a lavender body cream, to calm my anxiety. I make sure every millimeter of skin is covered with the thick moisturizer. I blow dry my hair and straighten it at the same pace, focusing on every strand of hair, making sure it looks immaculate. I do the same thing with my makeup and when I put on my outfit.
I look in the mirror, smoothing my hands down my clothes, making sure there are no wrinkles. I make sure my hair is perfectly smooth, not one hair out of place.
The clock now reads 6:00 A.M. I've got one hour and a half to kill before I leave for work. Just like I always do, I throw inside my purse whatever I need for the day like my makeup bag, wallet, hand sanitizer, scrunchies, and most importantly, my little lamb stuffed toy that I've had ever since I can remember.
I hug my little lamb to my chest for a few seconds, feeling a sense of calm trickle through my body. Everything is okay, we're safe. I breathe out and gently put the toy inside my purse.
Unlocking my bedroom door, I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen. I pre-heat the oven and start mixing the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies. As I mix, I start feeling a lot calmer, I can breathe again and all I can think of is the cookies I'm making.
Due to the limited time, I only make a small batch. I grab some clear baggies, where I put three cookies in each and tie-up with thin, blue, ribbon. I carefully place the baggies inside my purse and walk out of my house, locking the door. I breathe in the fresh morning air as I turn the knob five times to make sure it's locked.
"Miss Van Allen! Miss Van Allen!" I hear a little voice call as I walk to my car. I turn my head and see my neighbor's daughter, Leilani, skipping excitedly towards me. I stop walking and smile at her. "Good morning, Miss Van Allen!"
"Good morning, Leilani," I say, cheerily.
"I wanted to give you this!" she brings her hands from behind her back and hands me a card. "It's Valentine's Day and I made this for you!" She's bouncing with excitement and it warms my heart. "I made it into the shape of a jacket because you always wear suits with really pretty jackets and it's pink because my favourite colour is pink and I think your favourite colour is pink!"
"Oh! Thank you so much, sweetie!" I open the card and read the words scribbled on it;
Miss Van Allen,
Happy Valentine's Day!
Your really pretty and your clothes are really pretty and your hair is really pretty and happy valentine's day!
"Can I give you a hug?" I ask her. She nods and I crouch down to her height, opening my arms and wrapping them around her. She throws her tiny arms around my neck.
"Did you like it, Miss Van Allen?" she asks.
"I loved it, Leilani," I say, sincerely. "Thank you very much, dear." I let go of her and stand back up, reaching into my purse and pulling out two baggies of cookies. "Happy Valentine's Day, Leilani. Here, one for you and one for your dad," I give her the cookies and she squeals.
"Thank you, Miss Van Allen!" She gives me a quick hug and runs back to her dad, giving him one of the cookies. He looks over to me, raises his hand and mouths a "thank you" with a dimpled smile. I wave back, smiling before walking to the driver's side and getting inside my car.
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Hello, my loves. Welcome to my third fanfic. I hope you all enjoy it. Are y'all ready to come on this journey with me and have your emotions played with? Cause I am 😌 Anywhore, let me know what you think so far. Stay beautiful. Stay positive. Keep your chakras aligned. Kissy 💋 ~Amy 🌷
