FIRE | H.S.

Chapter 28

   I cried the whole way to my home. I didn't know how much seeing my father would affect me. My tears blur the lines on the street, but I manage to make it alive.

   I throw everything on the ground as soon as I lock the door and throw myself on the sofa, clutching my little lamb to my chest as the tears pour out of me. My body shakes with sobs, and I struggle to breathe.

He knew everything that was happening and did nothing. He just let the abuse continue.

   The thought of it breaks me into a million pieces all over again. How do you allow your own child to go through such horrible things?

   My mother allowed it because she was drugged half of the time and "in love" with Clyde. I didn't really expect much from her.

   But finding out my father stood by, knowing what I was going through and doing nothing... it's a different kind of heartbreak. I never expected anything from him. I knew that when he left, I would not see him again, and I did not expect him to know anything that was happening.

   But he did. He maybe didn't know the full extent of the abuse, but he knew something was happening.

   Maybe it's wrong for me to feel this way and to somehow blame him, but I can't help it. Growing up, I always imagined what my life would've been like if he had taken me with him, and in my head, it was a whole different life. I did imagine some struggles with money, but I would always have my daddy's attention, and he would take me to school, pick me up, and ask me how my day was. He would ask me to help him cook, and we would invent dishes and experiment with spices. He would look at my report card, congratulate me when I got good grades, and tell me when I needed to improve my score on a subject I wasn't particularly good at. But most importantly, I would've been loved. I would've felt the love he always gave me, even during his bad days. There wouldn't have been any slaps, punches, insults or... I would've been able to be a child and a teenager, and I would not have had to work in the place that I did. He would've ensured I had whatever I needed so I could only focus on my studies.

   I would've been able to be normal.

   Sadly, all of that was only in my head. My reality was far from that. Especially when Clyde came into our lives shortly after my father left. Everything turned gray. Nothing had meaning anymore. And the small happiness I was able to experience with my father turned into nothing but pain and despair.

   My life became a nightmare.

***

   I wake up to my phone ringing in my purse. I get up from the couch, still holding my little lamb, and find my phone in the mess inside my bag. Once I find it, I see it's Harry. I swipe my thumb across the screen and press the phone to my ear.

   "Hello?" I say.

   "OH MY GOD AVA YOU TOOK FOREVER TO ANSWER THE PHONE WHY WEREN'T YOU PICKING UP DADDY SAID YOU WEREN'T AT WORK ANYMORE AND THAT BY NOW YOU SHOULD BE HOME," I hear Leilani's loud voice and pull the phone away a bit while smiling.

   "I'm sorry, Leilani, I was napping and couldn't find my phone in my purse," I laugh. "How are you? Did you just land?"

   "Yes! We just walked out of the airplane, and now we're walking to the place where you can grab your bags from this moving thing that has AAAALLLL the bags of the people in the plane. Did you know there were so many people on the plane with us? And the plane was HUUUUUGE!" I can picture her holding Harry's hand and walking animatedly beside him with her curls bouncing and her wandering eyes taking everything in. The image makes me smile even more, and my heart clenches. I already miss her.

   "Really? That's so amazing, Leilani! How was the flight?"

   "Oh my god it was so cool because I got to watch movies and play on my tablet and my daddy read to me for a little bit and then the ladies in the airplane gave us food and sodas and we had blankets and we also got to sleep and have dinner and OH MY GOD AVA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SNACKS YOU SENT THEY WERE SOOOO GOOD I FINISHED ALL OF THEM! Well no I saved one brownie for my nan because I want her to try it and I know she's going to love it, right daddy?"

   "Of course she will, Monkey," I hear Harry say, and my heart flutters at the faint sound of his voice. "Thank you so much for the snacks, Ava. And the brownies were delicious. You made our flight much better." His voice sounds closer to the speaker, so I assume Leilani handed him the phone.

   "I'm glad you liked them," I smile, playing with the fabric on my lamb.

   "WE LOVED THEM!" I hear Leilani shout, and Harry chuckles. His laugh sends a few shivers down my spine.

   Ava, chill.

   "Well, Ava, we're getting our bags now and then waiting for Mum to pick us up, so I'll call you later, alright?"

   "Of course! Thank you for letting me know you landed. Enjoy your trip!"

   "Thank you! We promise to send lots of pictures. Take care!"

   "BYE AVA I LOVE YOU!"

   "Bye, Leilani! I love you, too! Bye, Harry!"

   "Bye, Ava," his husky voice rings through my ear before I hang up.

   I need to control my heart's reaction to Harry's voice. I have no idea what is happening, but lately, hearing his voice and being near him makes my heart beat a little faster, and that's not good.

~~~