Stuck in the in-between.

How do I tell you?

It took Noah and I about 2 and a half weeks to go through the majority of the important boxes. I still hadn't told him that I saw A.J at CVS and I didn't know if I was going to. Everything seemed pretty perfect with Noah and now that the stress of the moving was over we could finally focus on the wedding. We sat on our new living room couch with our dinner still on the coffee table and started to plan out the logistics.

"Are you inviting your Aunt Sharon?" Noah asked as he fixed his position on the couch. I looked at him with a dirty look.

"What?" he said, "You know she is cheap, and always late." I kept a dirty face and didn't say anything to him.

"Fine, Aunt Sharon, check," he said typing her name into his computer.

"We are up to like 185 people, I feel like that's enough unless you want to invite more of your frat brothers," I said through a yawn.

"No, I do not but you're tired," he said closing his laptop

"Let's go to bed"

"No," I said closing my laptop, "I just need to close my eyes for a little," I said laying down in a fetal position on the couch

"Keep working, we barely made a dent in all the work we have to do"

"Mhm," Noah said as he opened his laptop back up.

~

My eyes fluttered as I started to wake up, the room smelt like bacon and pancakes, the sun peeped through the crack of the blinds. I sat up and stretched. I hopped out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Noah had music playing and he was cooking breakfast. The kitchen table was set, freshly squeezed orange juice was in the cups on the table.

"It smells good in here," I said in a raspy morning voice. My hair hung in a messy bun on the side of my head.

"Good morning," Noah said flipping over the pancake

I shuffled over to the tall chairs that lined the countertop and sat down.

"I thought I fell asleep on the couch," I said biting into a piece of burnt bacon placed on a paper towel.

"Your snoring got to be a little too much, so I carried you into bed around 1 A.M.," he said cutting up some fruit laying on the counter.

"I see, now you know how I feel every night," I said getting up from the chair and walking around the counter to where he was standing. I wrapped my arms around him from the back and rested the side of my face against his back. I thought about how I saw A.J and how I didn't tell him and how they invited us to dinner. Maybe we should go I thought to myself. The only real reason I wanted to go was to show A.J that I was happy without him and I flourished into something amazing all on my own. I let go of Noah and sat down at the perfectly set table. Noah brought over the pancakes and bacon on a separate plate.

"Banana pancakes for the lady," he said putting two pancakes on my plate.

"Thank you, good sir," I said pouring syrup on top of the pancakes.

Noah sat down with his pancakes and took a sip of his orange juice.

"Are you not hungry? He said watching my plate as I played with the pancakes with my fork.

"No, I am, everything is amazing, I actually wanted to ask you a question," I said putting my fork down and crossing my legs Indian style and looking up at him with a serious face.

"Ok," he said putting down his orange juice, "What's up?"

"I saw A.J in CVS the other week when I went to get the tape for the box, and he's home for good now, he is done with his tour, and his mother was there and she wanted to know if you and I would want to go to dinner at their house one night."

"Ok," he said picking up his fork and cutting into his pancakes.

" Maybe not Monday cause I have a board meeting"

"Wait, you're okay with it?" I said in a surprised tone.

"Sure," he said

I looked at Noah as he took a bite of his steaming hot pancake.

"Ok, well then I am going to call her and tell her what days work for us"

"Sounds good to me," Noah said

"You're okay with all of this?" I said looking at him in super confusion.

"Babe, He is your past, I'm your present and future and besides, I know his mother was always close with your family. His mother was nice to me last time I saw her, and it would be nice to put a voice to A.J being that I've only seen pictures." Noah got up from his chair and picked up his plate.

" Are you finished with this?" Noah said pointing down at my plate. I nodded and handed my plate to his empty hand. He kissed my forehead.

"I trust you," he said walking away with the plates in hand.

I stared out the living room window that looked past the water. I'm glad he trusts me, but do I trust myself?