Stuck in the in-between.

I guess that was goodbye again.

The weekend with Susie went by really fast, and now my wedding was only days away. I still hadn't heard from A.J. Part of me was really relieved but I needed answers and I didn't know how to get them. My mom asked me to come over on Tuesday night so that we could hang out and talk before I was a married woman. Noah went out with my brothers and a few of his friends for a bachelor party that night so spending time with my mom didn't seem so bad. I pulled through the gates of my parent's house and walked inside. My mom was in the kitchen baking cookies.

"Hi mama," I said putting my purse down on the counter.

"Hi baby, I'm making cookies, do you want to help?" She said adding the eggs into the batter.

"Sure," I said rolling up my sleeves and washing my hands in the sink. I grabbed an ice cream scooper from the draw and walked over to where she was standing.

"This one is already done, so you can start placing these on the cookie sheets." She said mixing the second batter with a hand whisker. I started to scoop up some dough and put it on the cookie sheets.

"Where's dad?" I said looking down at what I was doing.

"Oh, he had some business partner to meet for dinner tonight." She said looking at me. We stood there in silence for a little. "You haven't said much about A.J being home." I stopped scooping the dough.

"There's not much to say," I said continuing to scoop the dough a little more aggressively.

"Don't lie Victoria, I raised you better than to lie to your mother."

"He's just home mom, there isn't much I can do."

"Do you still feel something for him Victoria?" I stopped scooping the dough again but this time the overwhelming emotional feeling came upon me again. I never really confronted myself about how I felt about A.J being home, or my feelings about him in general.

"He was my first love mom, I think I'll always feel something for him." I let go of the scooper and rested my hands on the countertop. She watched me and closed her eyes slowly and took a deep breath.

"I spoke to his mother, he's off to California." She said opening her eyes.

"Yeah I know, he visiting Bucky and his fiancé," I said still looking down at the countertop.

"No Victoria, he went out there to live for a couple of months, he doesn't know if he's coming back" My eyes opened wide and I snapped my head quickly to look at her.

"What?.... What did you just say?" I said looking at her as tears started to form in my eyes. She looked at me concerned.

"Why?" I said sharply.

"He didn't say why he just told his mom that he was going to move out there for a little and start new, that there was not much here for him." I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, they fell from my eyes. I felt faint and weak. I lost him again I thought to myself. He's leaving me again.

"Oh sweetie," my mom said wrapping her arms around me and pulling me in tight. "It's okay."

"He didn't even say goodbye," I said laying my head on her shoulder.