Maybe your heart still stops when you see me

That Night

THE SUMMER BEFORE JUNIOR YEAR:

NINI'S POV

"Neeners, are you absolutely sure about this?"

Kourtney sat on the edge of my bed, staring at me uncertainly as my finger hovered over post button of my instagram. 

"Yes, Kourt, I'm sure." I gave her a reassuring smile. "Ricky and I have been dating a long time. I really, really, love him Kourt. I'm pretty sure he loves me too. But this is the only way we will find out."

Kourtney let out a heavy sigh, twisting one of her curls in between her fingers. "Okay, if you say so." She said warily, "But I just don't want to see you get your heart broken."

I placed my hand over hers, looking into her eyes. "Ricky won't break my heart. Don't worry." Kourt nodded, but turned away slightly. 

Ricky and I have been going strong for a long time now. Everyday has been better than it's last, and I want it to be like this forever. We've already had our first valentines day together, our first make out session, our first anniversary together, our first game night with our families, our first awkward double date, and we even owned a fish together for a little bit! And by a little bit, I mean two weeks.... but that's irrelevant! 

My point is, Ricky and I have through so much together, I think it's time for us to finally take the next step, and say 'I love you.' I understand how crazy things have been with his parents lately. His mom always going back and forth to Chicago, his dad not taking care of himself, but we aren't like them! Ricky and I are going to last. I just know it. 

I had it all planned out. Ricky was coming over to my house in about an hour and we will just be chilling. I had written a song for him, using his own words 'I think I kinda you know'. I was going to post it on instagram, and then tell him I really love him. And if all goes as planned, then tonight will be a life changing night. If it doesn't...... no, it won't go wrong. Everything will be perfect. 

Kourt walked over to my vanity and began applying another layer of lip gloss. "Are you sure you want to tell him now, girly?" She asked "I mean you are going to camp soon, and you'll be gone for a bit. Wouldn't that be painful?"

"Kourtneyyyy." I groaned. "I'm doing this, and nothing can change my mind. Besides, it's not like I'll be looking for someone else at camp. I only have eyes for Ricky, we know this." 

"But you'll only have a little bit of cell phone reception." She countered. "How are you going to live without telling him 'I love you' every night. If I know you two well enough, you guys are both going to be shouting it from the rooftops."

I blushed a little, thinking about how happy we are going to be after tonight. Finally being able to say that we love each other. "We'll manage." I said honestly. "We always do." 

Deep down, I always knew Ricky was going to be too chicken to make the first move when it came to the L words. It's always been a sensitive topic for him, but Ricky trusts me. I'm hoping he can trust me with his love too. I know I can trust him with mine.

Right?

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"Babyyyyyyy!" Ricky ran into my room like a tiny little troll and hopped over to where I sat on my bed. He leaned up, giving me a peck on my lips before settling his head onto my lap. "I've missed you."

I giggled, bringing my hand up to his hair. "You literally saw me yesterday!" I joked, earning a laugh from him.

 "That is much to long." He beamed, tilting his head to look at me better. "Gosh, you look so pretty, Neens." 

I couldn't help but blush, tucking a lose strand of hair from my side ponytail behind my ear. "What are you talking about? I look terrible right now." Ricky gasped in mock defense, making me laugh. "I'm literally wearing no make up and my acne stinks right now and i-" 

"Nah," Ricky cut off my rambling, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. "You are perfect." 

My face burned at his comment, but I couldn't help the huge smile that took over my face. "Gosh, you are such a flirt, Bowen." I laughed, shoving him slightly. 

He simply shrugged, and grabbed his phone. "Want to see a really cool skate video I saw earlier today?" He asked like a little toddler.

When Ricky opened his phone, I noticed his background was a photo that I hadn't seen before. It was a photo of us with our arms wrapped around each other on a balcony. Ricky had his hand resting on my cheek, and I was wearing his hoodie. We were just watching each other happily, with the effiel tower in the background. It was the night that Ricky confessed he had feelings for me. That must have been the picture that Connor had taken of us when we were having a moment! Gosh, why have I never seen that before. We look so happy, so..... so in love. and we are! Right? No! Nini, don't get cold feet now. 

Ricky started to play the video, but honestly I wasn't really watching. I mean I was watching something, but it wasn't the video. I was watching him. All of his little movements, expressions, how he got super excited whenever they landed a flip of some kind of did a cool trick. The way he looked up at me to see my reaction and blushed when he already saw me smiling at him. I loved how he still got embarrassed, even after being with each other for so long. I was totally whipped.

I felt my heart race when I saw my phone dinging with notifications, saying that people were liking and commenting on my video. I still had to show it to Ricky. I just needed to find the right time I felt as if I were sitting on eggshells, waiting to bring it up, but to be true, I was scared. I was so scared. What if he didn't love me back? What if we break up tonight? Would we find our way back to each other? No, Nini, think rationally. Ricky wouldn't break up with you if you told him the you loved him. Would he? He wouldn't! Right? I still feel like- ew what the heck is that smell?

Ricky looked up at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "Do my feet stink?" He asked. "Because I feel like my feet stink." 

I stuck my head in the air and inhaled deeply. Oh yeah, they stunk. 

"No!" I lied, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but my voice came out high and squeaky. Ricky gave me a pointed look, knowing I wasn't telling them truth. "Sort of." I admitted with a shy smile. 

"Yeah?" Ricky smirked. 

I grinned down at him, letting out a little laugh. "I think it's cute." 

Ricky hummed in response, lifting up his head to give me a kiss, and I met him halfway. It was just a peck, but it still somehow managed to make sparks fly. 

He gave me a boyish grin before turning his attention back to his phone. "And that's why we work." He said with a chuckle 

We do work. I felt my heart skip a million beats as the thought of the video crossed my mind once more. You love him, Nini. He deserves to know. 

I inhaled a deep breath. It was now or never. I looked down at the boy laying in my lap, smiling cheesily, and finally, I spoke. 

"check your instagram." 

Author's Note:

yo i'm gonna cry