Marbles: The Hawk Who Refused to Die a Virgin

Chapter 5. Whither, Marbles?

"Why Marbles?" asked Opal.

"I mean, I got this thing," said Marbles, waving a clawed left foot in front of Opal. Tied to that foot was a rattling leather sack, cinched with a leather string, like a bag of marbles.

"It's full of marbles," said Marbles. "C'mon buddy let me get you down."

And with that Marbles hopped up to Opal and stuck his neck and head behind Opal's back. He then began ripping at Opal's ropes with his bare beak.

"Fuck off, hawk!" screamed Brutus, who had pulled a knife out of his boot and was running up to stab Marbles in the back. If a raptor ever survived the initial volley, the team was supposed to go hand to hand with the raptor. They had never had to escalate to this stage before, and Brutus was the only gnome brave enough to engage.

"No, you fuck off," said Marbles, flipping lightly around, balling up his claws and punching Brutus right in the solar plexus. Brutus coughed twice and fell heavily to his knees, unconscious. He was a fine specimen of a gnome--fit, hardy, and well trained--but compared to the raw strength of a raptor he was just another soft squidgy humanoid. Marbles turned back around and finished tearing the rope to pieces with his beak, pulling it free from Opal like they were intestines.

"My name's Opal," said Opal, his face ashen, his buzz in a state beyond dissipated. 

"Whatup Opal?" said Marbles. "I have a quest for you."

"Uh huh," said Opal, still terrified.

"Can you help me lose my virginity?" asked Marbles.

"Yeah sounds good," said Opal, stumbling around, dazed. All around him was a writhing wasteland of groaning gnomes. Because they had been laying down, the only parts of their bodies that had been exposed when the crossbow bolts had exploded were their faces, and they were lucky they weren't all blind. Opal turned to ask Marbles some follow up questions about the whole virginity thing. But he stopped short when he saw Lucy sprinting towards him in the early autumn sunlight, screaming in rage, hiking the hem of her cassock up to her chaff flecked knees so that she could kick Marbles.

"Fuck off, hawk!" screamed Lucy, who ran up and booted Marbles away from Opal.

"OK Jeez!" said Marbles, miffed but never daring to attack a huge human. Besides, blows to birds never landed with much effect. Birds could react so quickly that they were practically in mid-flight whenever something touched them, and they landed lightly. Marbles was just surprised is all. He had only been trying to help.

"It's OK Lucy," said Opal. "The hawk was just trying to help."

"Help himself to your delicious little body more like," said Lucy, kneeling down to examine the still bewildered Opal. Opal was discovering the fact that he did not have a knack for chaos and that it didn't take much action to utterly befuddle him.

Lucy nocked her left forefinger under Opal's chin to lift his head up.

"Are you OK?" asked Lucy. Opal tried to nod against the force of her finger.

"Follow my other finger," said Lucy, moving her right forefinger back in front of Opal's face. Marbles stood there staring at them both, cocking his head back and forth.

"The hawk's name is Marbles," offered Opal, as if this helped the situation in any way.

"OK Opal," said Lucy, lightly pushing against his chest, ribs, and back. She straightened Opal's arms out at his side, and when he left them there, she pushed them down again. "OK you look good," said Lucy, patting Opal on the cheek. "You're not in any pain, are you?" Opal shook his head. Lucy moved on to kneel beside the nearest gnome on the ground. This guy was in bad shape. Opal could hear Lucy breathe deeply as she held her hands over the gnome's chest and murmured a spell. The gnome coughed once and his ragged breathing slowed to normal.