Marbles: The Hawk Who Refused to Die a Virgin

Chapter 20. Mist/Privacy

Um ok so there's only so many times you can wake up to two people making out when you know you need to give them their space. Because Languin was a virgin, Opal didn't want his first time to be two surreptitious thrusts by the campfire accomplished only after an hour of whispered negotiations.

"Languin I know it's early in the morning but I really need to take some time and work on this magic alone and when I'm fresh," said Opal. "I'm always so exhausted after hiking all day that I can barely concentrate."

"I think an off day is a great idea," said Lucy, adjusting the hood of her cassock. "We're all kind of run ragged right now."

"Yeah so I'm just going to take this candle and go next to that waterfall we saw yesterday," said Opal. "I won't be able to hear anything over the water. I'm thinking three hours?"

"Sure!" said Languin.

"Marbles you comin'?" asked Opal.

"Why would I?" asked Marbles. "I don't give a fuck about fire or magic. That's some human bullshit."

"You can't be alone in a cave, on a quest," said Opal. "If something happens to me I'll need to use your ward for protection."

Only Opal was small enough to truly benefit from Marbles's protective spell, and he had to be real close, almost touching him, for it to kick on. They had experimented one night, with rocks that Languin nonchalantly batted away with his blade. Anything larger than a gnome, even if it crouched next to Marbles, wouldn't get the benefit of the force field that would shield Marbles from anything more dangerous than a carpenter bee.

"OK fine I'll go dude," said Marbles, hopping after Opal. "I'll scratch out tic-tac-toe for us in the stone for when you take breaks from staring at that candle."

"Bye you guys, see you in a bit!" said Opal, waving as he and Marbles walked away.

As they walked back towards the waterfall, Marbles realized why he had been dragged away from the campsite.

"Ohhh," said Marbles. "You don't really want to practice magic. You were giving them space to mate."

"Yeah," said Opal.

"That's fine. You are after all in the business of assisting virgins. But I really hate being told that we're doing a thing for one reason and not the real reason," said Marbles.

"Yeah I hate that too," said Opal. "It makes me feel like a child."

"Yes," said Marbles. "And then I react realistically to a nonsensical request, which in turn does make me look like a spoiled child! So I get really frustrated when I find out the real reason."

"OK so in the future if you need me to do something but can't tell me the real reason in front of other people, just like, keep your right fist down at your side and extend two fingers," said Marbles.

"Wow very specific, I like it," said Opal.

"Sorry I just hate that bullshit so much," said Marbles. "I never catch on in time and I feel humiliated afterward."

"Oh no I totally get it," said Opal. "Consider it done."

"And why didn't we drag Jezebel along with us on this farce as well?" asked Marbles.

"Well she's Lucy's familiar, and is privy to her innermost thoughts and feelings," said Opal. "She flew off right as I was waking up to them giggling. She knows the score."

"She's really helped me out a lot down here," said Marbles. "She showed me how to catch bats. I hadn't caught anything before I met her."

"That's nice," said Opal. "I'm glad you guys are getting along. Jezebel always seems a little, I don't know, aloof to me. Kind of holier than thou."