Marbles: The Hawk Who Refused to Die a Virgin

Chapter 18. The Reconciliation Chamber

Lucy waved goodbye to Languin and Opal as they traipsed towards their makeshift reconciliation chamber, which was an outcropping near the ravine they had passed yesterday. Lucy cracked open Eat Pray Love while Jezebel slipped her talons desultorily through a well worn copy of Eat Prey Whole. Marbles settled in for a nap. That hawk loved his naps.

Lucy had laid out the rules for a reconciliation chamber earlier that day:

1. Complete honesty.

2. Give something to get something.

3. Even if you don't get something, give it everything you've got.

4. Lots of eye contact and a single flickering candle.

5. End with a hug.

They sat down on the outcropping and Languin waved his hand over the candle he placed between them. Opal always loved watching this. He couldn't get enough of watching magic.

They both sat cross legged on the ground, facing each other. Opal took off his hat, stuffed the moonflower crown inside it, and lay it on the ground at his side, point up.

"Wow," said Languin.

"It's something gnomes do when they're trying to be real with each other," said Opal. "You are really embracing this process," said Languin. "I am honored."

"I gotta do something to make me feel better about myself," said Opal.

"OK well first things first," said Languin. "I am the one who ate all of the endless bread."

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" shouted Opal. He got up and stomped in a circle around his hat. He stopped, glared at Languin. He returned to sit back down in front of Languin, still glaring.

"I am sorry, but I did not want to look bad in front of Lucy," said Languin. "I have fallen in love with her." His soft lips tightened in resigned embarrassment.

"What was all that bullshit about your elven metabolism?" asked Languin.

"For a normal elf, sure, eating an entire loaf of endless bread would be outrageous," said Languin. "But I myself happen to be the world's fattest elf."

"What? You're not fat. You're a strapping dude," said Opal. "Sure you've got a little jowl but nobody would hold that against you. It humanizes you. Otherwise you're handsome as fuck."

"Yes," said Languin, tugging at his slight, stubbled wattle self consciously. "Exactly. It humanizes me. To humans I look handsome, like a gorgeous, but also somehow everyman, actor. But to elves this signifies a level of obesity that would make me the equivalent of an 800 pound man."

"That seems super shallow," said Opal.

"Shallowness is a top elven trait," said Languin. "It takes us until we are a hundred to learn to stop dismissing people just by their hairstyle. For centuries I have been a cautionary tale warning against excess. There is stock footage of me walking around the enchanted forest playing on every elven public health advisory globe. They blur my face but everyone can tell that it is me."

"That's awful," said Opal.

"Truly it is," said Languin. "As a prince I am held to a higher standard than the common elf, but even so the ostracization, the giggling when I keep my shirt on during a dew bath, it is hell on Earth."

"You're elven royalty?" asked Opal.

"Yes," said Languin. "I had not yet told you but I had already confided in Lucy, perhaps in a subconscious effort to impress her. I cannot tell whether it was an attempt at true intimacy or just another one of my blatant plays for her admiration."