Cold-Blooded

Cut Through

Camila's POV

"It was the night Michael got murdered..." I begin.

~Flashback~
Trigger Warning ⚠️-(There will be self-harm so if it's too much for you to handle skip through this part)

I drink the last drop of whiskey as I throw the bottle at the wall making it shatter like the other three bottles I drank. My dad is asleep and Gerald isn't here tonight. My mind has been overwhelmed with a lot of shit. I wipe the tears that fell as I started sobbing harder. All I want to do tonight is run over to wherever Lauren lives and hold her for the rest of my life. But I can't do that because she probably gave up on me because of my fault. I wouldn't blame her though all she wants to do is fix things and I just push her away.

"She hates me... She hates me... She hates me." I repeat that to myself over and over again. I hit the wall chipping a piece of that shit. I cry harder and harder as the time goes by so when my door opens I turn around quickly.

"Are you okay Karla?" My dad asks worriedly.

"I'm fine papi," I whisper.

My dad frowns at me. "Is it because of your mother?"

"Along those lines papi," I murmur.

He comes over and kisses my forehead. "I love you, honey, you know I do. Your mother would be proud of you if she was still with us."

"How? I've done nothing but be a rebel," I whisper.

"You have done so much more than your brother did while in the gang. Good or bad she'll support you and be proud of you," My dad assures me.

"Thanks, Papi I didn't want to wake you up," I hold his hand in mine.

"No worries. I'm your dad," He smiles and leaves my room.

"That solves one of my problems..." I whisper. I stand up and grab a little small black box from under my bed. I open it and move the knife aside. I grab all the polaroids and love letters inside. I smile at the first polaroid as I keep flipping through them along with the love letters which I read over and over losing count. I bit my quivering lower lip as tears start to form in my eyes. My gaze drifts to the knife on my mattress so I grab and hold it firmly along my arm. I close my eyes and move my head to the side as I slit the knife along my arm. I bite harshly down on my lip to sustain my painful scream. I throw the knife on my bed as I stumble on my feet. I scoot behind, my back hitting against the wall, my eyes staying glued to the cut as the blood drips down at an insanely rapid pace. My breathing quickens as everything that I just did runs over and over in my brain.

"That's what this cut was from," I avoid eye contact with Lauren.

Lauren wipes a tear that fell not saying a single word. The silence grows heavy so when I feel my chin lift up and my eyes lock with Lauren's emerald eyes I can feel all the pain and love.

"This love causes pain and some cherish for you and I'm sorry the pain is part of it but the only thing I know right now is that I want to be part of your life again," Lauren whispers.

"I want to be part of yours too," I whisper.

"You never left my life, baby girl," Lauren smiles adoringly.

I kiss Lauren's knuckles as she kneels down in front of me. She pulls me close to the edge of the chair while she lays her head against my abdomen. "No matter what happens I'll always be there for you. I won't stop fighting for you."

"I know you won't. You never did," I stroke her hair with a small smile.

Lauren looks up at me her eyes warm and bright. I smile brightly at her, my hands cupping her face. "I love you," We both confess at the same time. We let out a hearty laugh. 

I lean down kissing her lips lovingly. Lauren kisses back slowly as she stands up making me stand up as well. I pull away and lay my head on her chest. "This is what I've been wishing for. Hugging your warm body anywhere we are," I whisper.

"Like old times Camz," Lauren whispers letting out a small chuckle.

I look up at her and grin sheepishly, "Like old times baby."