SIX the Musical Genderbent Lyrics

Cathan of Aragon Introduction

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
(City name), how are you doing tonight?

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
We said, how are you doing tonight?!

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
We are...

[KINGS]
Six~

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
And welcome to our divorced, beheaded live tour!

[KATHAN HOWARD]
We've got a whole lot in store for you tonight

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
We've got riffs to ruffle your ruffs!

Cathan of Aragon riffs

[CATHAN PARR]
Shimmys to shake up your Chemise.

[KATHAN HOWARD]
And a whole lot of history.

[CATHAN PARR]
Or as we like to call it... his-story.

The kings laugh

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
So obviously, you know who we are

[KATHAN HOWARD]
Please, no portraits.

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
But give it up for our gentleman in waiting!

Cathan of Aragon motions to the gentleman in waiting, also the band

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
We got Mason on the guitar!

Mason does a solo

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
Benson on the bass.

Benson does a solo

[CATHAN PARR]
And killing it on the keys, we've got Jace!

Jace does a solo

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
And with drums so sick they'll give you gout, It's Marco in the drums!

Marco does a solo

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
So you came here tonight to party with us old-school

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
Really, really old-school...
But we're not here to have fun!

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Uh-uh

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
We've got a serious score to settle.

[KATHAN HOWARD]
Cause you see (city name), the problem is there's—

[KINGS]
Six

[KATHAN HOWARD]
of us, and we know you've all got your favorite

Kathan Howard motions to himself

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Yes, everyone always wants to know who's the most important husband

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
And they've been arguing about it for centuries

[CATHAN PARR]
We've heard it all...

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
"Who lasted the longest was the strongest"

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
"The biggest sinner is obvs the winner"

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
"Who had the gal takes number one"

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
"Who was most chased shall be first placed"

[KATHAN HOWARD]
"Most inglourious is victorious"

[CATHAN PARR]
"The winning contestant was the most protest-ant"

The other kings look at him in confusion

[CATHAN PARR]
...Protestant!

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
And we came here tonight to answer your questions once and for all!

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
And tell ya whatcha want, whatcha really really want—

...to know

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
That's right, we're here to help you figure out which one of us is—

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
The king of the castle

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
The rose amongst the thorns

[KATHAN HOWARD]
The Tanya Cromwell amongst the royal ministers between 1532 and 1540

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
But how the purgatory are they going to choose their leading man?

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
Well hold up! If this is going to be a fair competition, they're gonna have to judge us on the one thing we've all got in common

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
The king to take the crown should be the one who had the biggest,

[CATHAN PARR]
The firmest,

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
The fullest

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
Load of B.S. to deal with from the women who put a ring on it

[KATHAN HOWARD]
So, (city name), we're going to hold a little contest for you

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
And the rules are simple:

[CATHAN PARR]
The king who was dealt the worst hand,

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
The king with the most hardships to withstand,

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
The king who everything didn't really go as planned,

[KINGS]
Shall be the one to lead the band!

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
So, what do you think (city name), are you ready to choose your leading man?

[KATHAN HOWARD]
We said, are you ready?!

[KINGS]
Welcome to the show
To the coronation
Who will take the crown,
Be the pop sensation?
Everybody knows that we used to be six grooms
Six grooms,
Six grooms,

Six grooms!

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
But there's only one you need to hear from tonight
(City name), I'm about to win this competition.
Marco, give me a beat!

Marco gives her a beat

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Wooo! My Bien!
So, since the day I arrived in England, let's just say my faith had been tested on more than one occasion

First things first, I was shipped off from Spain on the night of my sweet sixteen to marry some princess called Arabella and I'm like "okay". But then Arabella died, so naturally I'm imprisoned for seven years. Really helped with the grieving process, you know, but I'm still like, "okay."

But thank God they rescued me just in time to marry Princess Henrietta...my dead wife's sister. Okay, so I'm thinking "bit weird", but if you'd seen her back in the summer of '09. Let me tell you she was okay.

So seven years later, we're still trying for an heir. She's trying really hard and I'm like "okay", and she starts coming home late. "I was just out with my ministers!" But there's hickeys on her neck. And I'm like "okay"

Suddenly, she wants to annul our marriage, move some side man into my palace and move me into a convent!

Now, now, now, now, I just don't think I'd look that good in a wimple, so I'm like "No way"