SIX the Musical Genderbent Lyrics

Kathan Howard Introduction

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
So yeah, it was really heartbreaking

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
That doesn't sound difficult at all

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
Oh yeah... I guess you're right.
I probably won't win then.
Oh well, back to the palace!

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
Now, that's one horse out of the race.

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
Rude

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
Let's just take a moment to commemorate Anna on the loss of the competition. So, who's still in the running? Is it the devoted wife? The divorcée? Or the one who actually had problems to deal with?

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
Problems? My daughter had to deal with the loss of her father

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
Kinda like how my body had to deal with the loss of it's head!

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Please, come on now! Can't you see what's happening? Comparing your losses isn't going to change the fact that I've already won.
I mean I was literally shipped over from a foreign country, not knowing a single word of English to marry some random dude

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
Oh my god, same!

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Alright! But then, when Henrietta decided she had had enough of me, she didn't even have the decency to say goodbye!

[KATHAN HOWARD]
Same!

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
Oh my god, same! Nice neck by the way

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Oh alright how about this! When my one and only child had a raging fever, Henrietta didn't let me, his father, see him—

[JOHN SEYMOUR]
Oooh boooo hoooo!
Baby Mark had the chickenpox and YOU WEREN'T THERE TO HOLD HIS HAND, you know! It's funny because when I wanted to hold my NEWBORN GIRL I DIED!

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
Guys I have the plague!

The kings gasp and run over to him

[AIDAN OF CLEVES]
Lol, just kidding! My lives amazing!

[CATHAN PARR]
Okay, okay, you know what? I think it's time for the next king, K. Howard

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
Uhm wait, who's that again?

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Oh uh I think he's the least relevant Cathan

[AIDEN BOLEYN]
Oh yeah, haha, I still don't care

[KATHAN HOWARD]
(Sarcastically) Oh, ha ha, funny

[CATHAN OF ARAGON]
Yeah, speaking of funny, good luck trying to compete with us, honey

[KATHAN HOWARD]
Yeah...yeah, you're right. I'm gonna need all the luck I can get, your lives sounded terrible
and your songs
Really helped to convey that!

I mean, Cathan, almost moving into a nunnery and then not? It almost could've been really hard for you!

Ahaha! And Aiden! Aiden, getting your head chopped off? Surely, that means you'll win the competition— oh, wait, wait, hang on a sec
Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded...oh, wait, never mind

And John, dying of natural causes?
When will justice be served?!

And surviving...

Seriously, seriously, Aidan, all jokes aside, being rejected for your looks aww legit sounds really rough. I wouldn't know anything about that.

I mean look at me, I'm really fit. So yeah!
I can't even begin to think of how I'm going to compete with you all. Oh wait, like this...