I changed everything in your absence.
After you left, I threw it all away. The perfume, deodorant, shampoo, everything. Every scent that reminded me of you, gone. My skin crawls, thinking of you running your hands through my hair. You always complained when my hair would get in your face as we slept, but you were the one who hid in the nape of my neck from the light of the world. You loved showering at mine, so you could steal my shampoo. You told me it made you feel like I was with you when I was away.
You told me the scent of my perfume travelled when I entered a room. You could smell me from the other side of the bar while we pretended we were nothing but acquaintances, a familiar face in a growing crowd. A gaze that lingered for a second too long. I caught you spraying my perfume on your pillow in the mornings when I would shower. I wonder do you miss me, the scent of who I used to be?
I threw it all away, to throw away all the memories of you. New perfume lines my shelves, new shampoo sitting in my shower. The new scents are opened, waiting to be drawn to new opportunities for memories to be made. Memories without you. Memories of the new me.
Reality will break your heart.
Survival will not be the hardest part,
It's keeping all your hopes alive.
YOU ARE READING
consilium
Poetryi've been missing home, see it on my phone that the world back there keeps spinning 'round without me
