Who Are You?

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Some facts and moments may be kind of mystical, so don't search for logic and don't take it seriously

Zhan walked through the hospital corridor and stopped at the psychiatrist's cabinet "Paul Yu Bin" name on it. he smiled and opened the door.

"doctor Yu Bin, may i come in?"

"Zhan, finally your honor took time to visit me?" tall, handsome boy got up and hugged him "come on we work at the same hospital and couldn't talk until now"

"you know i'm always busy, wish there was less patients, i missed university time, when we're carefree and with less burden" Zhan lowered his head and sat on the patient chair

"guess you aren't here as my friend, is something bothering you?"

"yes, it's something very hard to explain, this problem bothers me almost whole life but last time it became harder"

"you can tell me everything, as friend and as doctor too"

"i know, that is why i decided to talk to you. all the time since my childhood i was feeling that some part of my heart and soul is missing, i know this sounds weird but did you ever think that you're incomplete without something or someone. i could never be fully satisfied, fully happy, some sorrow and pain always follows me and makes me desperate. 

you know i always had everything, could dream about. nice and understanding parents, chance to choose my fave profession. it seems like i achieved  all my wishes but why the hell i'm too unhappy?" Zhan hid face in his palms and breathed out

"you said someone, have you ever lost someone precious for you? you wasn't willing to let go?"

"never, i dated before but broke up was always my decision because there was no true love. and last time i started seeing weird dreams about two men, everything about them seems different. the way they talk, dress"

"can you see their faces?"

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"can you see their faces?"

"no, it's very blurry but i can feel that one of them  is me and the another... " Zhan touched his face, wiping sudden tears "i love him too much... i can't see his face clearly but still he is too angelic with snow like white clothes. the feeling of his closeness makes me too happy i want to stay in the dream forever, i amn't willing to let go of him. this love towards him is inexpressible, waking up every time hurts me too much" 

"is he telling you something?"

"we'll meet again, i'll find you... in next life, omg this is too silly" Zhan laughed, but it wasn't real one, his face was still full of the pain

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