Fucking Hiccups CAKE MPREG

I M S O R R Y ~8 WEEKS~

Another week has gone by and Calum hasn't spoken to Luke at all. He actually started to sleep in their guest bedroom and he rarely left it. They usually went most days without seeing each other now. Calum couldn't help it though. He can't stop thinking about the fact that there has been a literal baby in his belly this whole entire time. No wonder he's been feeling so fucking garbage.

    A part of him doesn't want to believe that it's actually in there growing and shit. He feels so helpless about the whole situation. This tiny clump of cells, that's the size of a raspberry has completely taken over his life and turned it upside down. It appeared out of nowhere and drained him of all his energy. How can one tiny little thing just do that? God he feels like he's going crazy. The more he  thinks about it the more freaked out he gets. He never even got a chance to look at the ultrasound. Which he knows for a fact that Luke has a photo of it. He catches Luke looking at it when he sneaks into the kitchen to make more tea. He also refuses to look at any body part below his chest. Why you may ask? Well because he feels his pants getting tighter and that only means one thing. The stupid little alien is growing. But his curiosity was getting the best of him. Would it be weird just to peak? Most pregnant women try to document their pregnancies anyways and here he is avoiding every single part of it.

   What if he peaks and starts having a panic attack? Does he really want to know if he's getting bigger? "Fuck it." Calum propped himself against the headboard of the bed and slowly lifted up his shirt to expose his belly. Everything looked relatively the same. He never had six packs to begin with, but he could tell that he looked a little more bloated than usual. Maybe it was his mind trying to see something, but he can't deny that his belly curved out more. To people that don't know him they would never notice that little curve. But someone like Luke would've. Next thing he knew he placed his hands near his lower belly and just let the floodgates open. Something about touching it caused a rush of unwarranted emotions.

"Hi I know you probably can't hear me. I'm Calum, your dad or whatever. You have another dad, but right now he's mad at me because I said something terrible and I'm glad you couldn't hear it. I'm truly scared of the idea of having you. Having you would mean changing my whole entire world and change is a super scary thing. You'll find out when you're born. But your other daddy Luke, he's the best. I know he loves you so much. He even keeps a photo of you around. He hides it in his pockets hoping that I won't see. That's how I know he already loves you with his whole heart. I'm really sorry I haven't been the best to you. I promise I'll eat better and I'll even sleep more, but you need to hold your end of the bargain by making me throw up less. I can't keep you healthy if you make me want to puke at everything I smell. You even made me hate your daddy's cologne and I love the way he smells, so why don't you? Anyways I'm rambling back to you, I love you I just... I really don't want to fuck up your life. I know it's crazy to say that I love you when I literally said I wanted to get rid of you. But I didn't mean it at all I was just scared. Your life is just starting and I managed to make you tinier than you were supposed and to be fair Dr. Lesner said it was normal since I keep puking so much. But what if I keep fucking up everything for the rest of your life? I can't live with myself if I hurt you more in any way. You're already making me fat and I couldn't help... I couldn't help but cry because that means you're growing. You have Luke to thank for that. Even though he hasn't spoken to me yet he always leaves tea by the bed in the morning so I feel less nauseous. Your dad is really the only reason why we're somehow both okay right now..." Calum couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion. He did not expect himself to do that. And now he's a sobbing mess. He knows deep down he loves this baby. More than he would like to admit.

   But logistically speaking there was no time for a baby in his life or Luke's life. So why should they keep it? They're in a band for fucks sake. They go touring all the time, they all drink too much, and he smokes occasionally. So what was the point of trying to raise a baby that they'll fuck up? He knows this is all justification on why having an abortion would be the best decision, but he can't stop thinking about Luke. The face Luke made when he asked when he could abort it made his stomach twist up in knots. He could tell how much it hurt his bear once those words left his mouth. But those words had no meaning to them and he wished Luke knew that.