Spiderson and Iron dad one shots

Top Five

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DILLIGAF?

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No...the answer is no.

WARNING: RANDOM SHIT IS ABOUT TO OCCUR! ALSO CURSING...BUT I ALREADY DID THAT SO...

"Peter" The faint voice of KAREN was barely registering in his mind as Peter rolled over. "Peter! I would advise that you wake up now if you don't want to be late for school." Groaning, Peter addressed his suits AI. "KAREN, just five more minutes." Peter could have sworn he heard a sigh. "Fine, initiating 'Wake The Hell  Up'  Protocol." Wait, what? Was the only thing that crossed his mind before the obnoxiously loud and distorted vine began blaring, "PATRICIA!!!! Get it together sweetie we have a competition this weekend."

Jolting awake, Peter yelled at KAREN to turn it off before he realized that he was still in his suit and  not at the compound. Eyes wide, he looked for his phone frantically. "KAREN, where is my phone?!" "You left it in your room, Peter." Oh, no. He had removed the tracker in his suit again so that his dad couldn't make Happy go and spy on Spiderman. If Peter hadn't gone home last night, and forgot his phone... needless to say, Peter was dead as soon as he got home after school. After slipping on yesterdays clothes and one of the extra hoodies that he always kept incase MJ got cold or his friend Lizzy needed one for "girl reasons" (He didn't want to know), Peter scrambled down the fire escapes of the random apartment complex he had fallen asleep on after a rough night on patrol.

Peter was on the subway when another thought passed through his mind. What about my com? Glancing down at his mask in his hoodie pocket, Peter noticed that the tiny wires next to his ear that allowed communication, were obliterated. Gods, a millimeter over and that bullet would have blown my brains out . It really had been a rough night on patrol. He had been shot at six times-with two of the bullets hitting him-while stopping a robbery,  stabbed twice after stopping two separate muggings, and had be assaulted by a gang of pigeons. The stab wounds and gunshots hurt and looked bad, but the pigeons...Gods the pigeons...

Peter managed to make it to school on time. Although, just barely. Walking into his first period was hell. Kids were talking and yelling and laughing as Mr. Harrington tried to calm the class down. The sheer sound of Peter's entirely-too-loud class almost sent him into a sensory overload. "HEY!" Mr. Harrington yelled for attention. "So, you all remember that really hard test that was supposed to be a MIT entry exam?" The class nodded. "Weeeell...the top five scores get to go to the Avengers compound after lunch!" The room erupted into cheers and whispers. "Now, the student with the highest score is...Peter Parker with..." the teacher looked shocked, "With 100%!" The class started to whisper. "No way! He had to have cheated!" one voice called out. (Flash, you bitch.) "You can't cheat on a college entry exam." Mr. Harrington deadpanned. Then he continued. "Number two is Michelle Jones  with 84%, number three is Abraham brown with 82%, number four is Ned Leeds with 75% annnd, coming in with number five is Lizzy- Oh... I, uh, mean Flash Thomson with 72%."

It was obvious that Flash had payed Mr. Harrington off, but no one called him out on it. Peter was panicking, one - he had just publicly been called out for being college level smart - and two - HE WAS GOING TO HIS HOUSE FOR A FEILD TRIP!!! Then, Flash threw a pencil at the back of his head, effectively breaking Peter out of his thoughts. "Hey Penis, you won't be able to keep up your little lie about knowing Tony Stark much longer." Michelle glared daggers at Flash and started to get up to go defend her boyfriend. But MJ was shoved back down by Lizzy. (What's up motherfucker, I'm back-) "Ex-CUSE me, bitch?!" She said while walking slowly over to Flash's Desk. Ned smirked. Flash had just messed with Lizzy's best friend's boyfriend, who was also her friend. Shit was about to go dooooown. "What did you say?"

"I said that Penis wasn't going to be able to keep his little lie now that we are going on a trip to the Avengers Compound. Princess." Flash stood up too, obviously trying to intimidate the small girl that barely came up to his chin. The class had quieted by now and were staring at Flash. Everyone had been told many times that 'You do NOT call The Heir to Hell princess.' It was practically a death sentence to do so. 

Glaring up at Flash, Lizzy stepped up onto his desk with her Black doc Martins. "First of all, Peter DOES work for Tony, you incompetent ASSHOLE." The class did that 'Ooooo' thing you do in kindergarten when people get in trouble. "And second of all...do. NOT. call. me. Princess." She paused to punch Flash in the face...hard. He fell to the floor with a grunt, (What? My right hook is mean.) "Besides," she flipped her short hair, "I'm a queen anyway." 

Lizzy sauntered up to the teachers desk grabbed an office referral. After Mr. Harrington wrote her up, Lizzy walked past Flash's groaning body on the floor, her  high waisted black velvet skirt swishing around her thighs. One of Flashes friends smacked her ass as she went towards the door. She turned around, grabbed the boys collar, got in the his face and growled out..."Don't touch my ass, or I'll beat the hell out of yours." She then released him. But it was only to punched him square in the nose. "Don't worry Mr. H, I'll tell Laura I did that too." Lizzy then just calmly walked out of the classroom. She did slam the door, though.

MJ, Ned, and the rest of the class were trying, and failing, to not laugh. Meanwhile, Peter was quaking. He was going on a field trip, to his home - that he didn't go back to last night - with his crazy, adopted, extended family! (May had gone to Italy for work and didn't wanted to drag peter away from everything, so Tony and Pepper had signed guardianship papers, along with the adoption papers a few weeks later) AND IT WAS AFTER LUNCH! He groaned. His life was officially over. "UGH!" Peter slammed his head on his desk as Mr. Harrington started the lesson.

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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~

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IF you liked, please vote and leave suggestions!!! Feel free to ask questions! Lizzy is out.