Fight For Animals

Chapter 8- Unsafe Thoughts

Matthew started stirring. He was waking up.

The first thing he saw when his eyes opened was the weapons, putting cracks in the glass high above his head. He slowly stood up, looking for me. He found me sleeping, with my eyes wet with tears. As he started walking towards me, he abruptly stopped. He bent down, and saw a big purple spot on his shin. He then looked at sound asleep me in shock.

He looked up at the weapons I threw, and back at me. I was beginning to wonder if he was thinking about how he was going to kill me while I was still sleeping. His stare at me turned to a frustrated look.

Then he slowly, quietly, started inching forward, towards me. His hands were outstretched. He was going to strangle me.

My eyes popped open. My breathing was heavy. Once again, I predicted the future.

I glanced over to peacefully sleeping Matthew. He was starting to wake. Was he going to do exactly what he did in my dream? I decided I'd find out. As he opened his eyes and saw what I'd done to the glass, I quickly lay down and shut my eyes. I pretended to sleep.

Then, focusing my senses on my ears, I heard him get up and look for me. I heard his feet start moving, and stop. He was definitely looking at his little bruise. I grinned. Oops. He could've seen that. There was silence. He must be looking at me with frustration now.

Then I heard his footsteps getting closer and closer. My heart rate started rising.

Now, I thought.

I quickly jumped up, and popped my eyes open.

His eyes widened. He looked startled.

"Go ahead. Strangle me." I said, half smiling. I was shocked from my sudden confidence towards him.

"How did you-" he started to mumble with his blue eyes as wide as the Pacific Ocean. "Right." He said. He looked down.

My eyebrows furrowed. How did he know that I could predict the future? In an instant, my intuition flickered. "Can you-?" I started to asked.

He cut me off with a hush, and put his finger to his lips. Right. Apparently, no one can know our powers. He then nodded his head, signaling that he could. He could read my mind.

Oh no. My thoughts aren't safe. Matthew can read minds. He can read my mind. Letting that sink in was hard. Was he always able to read my mind? He always knew what I was thinking. He knew the way I thought of him, he knows that when I see him, I don't see him the way I see every other boy. I see him as some handsome angel person. He knows how terrified I get when he is near.

I stood there, staring at him, and I could feel my cheeks flush pink. He knew everything. He even knew my reaction to knowing he could read my mind. And he knew that I could predict the future.

How long has he been able to read my mind? I wondered.

"Sixth grade." He responded to my mind thought. Then it was like he remembered the audience. The audience would wonder why Matthew just randomly said sixth grade. "Was when," he hesitated. He was terrible at improvisation. "I decided I'd never kill you. And that is why, I'm not killing you." "You seem I know what you are thinking." He added, mildly pointing at my head.

I looked at him, and nodded. I wasn't the best lier either. I pressed my lips together, holding back laughter. He was doing the same.

Then I realized what he just said. Now he can't kill me. He can't kill me. If he did people would know he was lying. He shut his eyes in regret. He obviously read my mind. Part of me wondered, why would he say that? My mind slowly wandered away, and I imagined him pretending to be my boyfriend in the glass.

When we got tired, we lay down side by side on the floor, me leaning into his chest. I closed my eyes, and right before I slipped into slumber, he whispered into my ear "I love you."

I hated myself for merely smiling at that thought. Matthew was almost breaking laughter. Umm, not funny. My mind comment did nothing to help suppress his laughter, almost breaking through his struggle to hold it back. I was already hating the fact that he could read every thought of mine, and that wouldn't be good for I knew my mind would wander at some point.

I turned my head. The audience was half asleep. My parents were looking at me with disapproval, they definitely hated the fact that I refused to kill Matthew. Matthew's parents didn't look much better. How long had it been? Ceremonies never lasted longer than 10 minutes, and who knew how long I'd been sleeping.

"I think we broke the record of how long the Fight For Animals lasts." Matthew sighed.

"Wow."

If we weren't going to kill each other, than what would happen? There was no food or water. Matthew looked at me. He nodded his head. I took that as a 'I agree' we were going to die of natural causes, in probably just a few days.

Wow.

"So," Matthew awkwardly blurted out.

"So," were we having another conversation?

"Um," he hesitated. "Why didn't you, you know," he swallowed. "Kill me when I was out." Then he seemed to gain his confidence, and finished his thought. "I mean, you beat me up." He said harshly. "At that moment, you like hated me. You don't know how shocked I was when I woke up, that I woke up." He stared at me intensely.

When he looked at me, I lost my thought. It broke my ability to speak, and I wasn't able to spill my words out. This is why I hate having conversations with you. I thought to him.

"I, I, I," I stuttered. I made my mouth form around the words, but like he hadn't read my mind and known what I was going to say. "I'd never. Kill. You." I slowly pushed out of my mouth.

I saw him flinch with guilt. I'm sorry it had to be you that I unconditionally had feelings for. I thought. He slowly closed his eyes, and then opened them. He was trying to push back his guilt.

"Neither will I." He said trying to sound confident. "I'd never kill you." He said so gracefully. I was almost jealous that he could say it so easily, so peacefully, and then there was me, trying to break down a tough wall just so I could say it, and by then my voice sounds like a goat suffering in pain.

Matthew lost it. He broke his wall. He started with little childish giggles. Then it evolved into a lion growling laughter. I saw tears form from his fit of laughter.

My eyes stayed glued to his laughing face. Laugh all you want. It's not my fault you can read my mind, and you can see my horrifying thoughts about you. It's not my fault I love you for no reason. It is not my fault that my thoughts aren't safe.

I'll admit, for a second I almost regretted not killing him.

That shut him up. His laughter went to an abrupt stop.