Fight For Animals

Chapter 2- Nerves

I barely heard the names of the other schools. All I heard was an echoing of our school, coming out of the lips of President Evelina.
There was chaos all through out the cafeteria. There was a girl screaming, and there were whispers. Principal Johnson was pale, and doing his best to look ok. I felt like I could pass out. I tried to think of something more positive. At least I'm not thinking about Matthew. At least there is still a chance I won't be dead tomorrow. I won't die tomorrow. There are many other kids. I don't stand out, I'm not going to be chosen.
The rest of the day was a blur. I just wanted to go home, and curl up into a ball, escape all of my stresses. I was praying that none of my friends would be chosen; I couldn't imagine sweet kind Helen, little Kyla, or anyone else just die. But what about me? What if I die? What if Matthew dies? What would happen then? I needed to stop worrying.
When I got home, my mom greeted me with a big hug.
"I love you." She said, "No matter what happens. Don't forget that." She was crying.
I hugged her tighter. "I love you too." I told her. My heart was pounding. What if this was the last hug from my mom?
"You might not be one of them." She said, trying to make me feel better. I could tell she was trying to reassure herself too. I smiled, trying to make it look like she cheered her up.
When my dad came from work, he asked me, "So what schools are doing it?" He asked curious. He didn't know. My mom looked at the ground. How could I tell him that there was a chance that I would have to fight for my life tomorrow? I didn't have to tell him; in that moment his face turned from normal, to pale. He looked like he just watched a dog fly or something. He embraced me so tight I couldn't breathe.
"How many people go to your school?" He asked.
"About 570." I said.
"They won't pick you." He reassured me. "Don't worry."
"Thank you." I said. "I love you."
"I love you too sweetie." He said. I found it a little weird. Why did my parents seem so worried I would be picked?
Then my 4 year old brother came into the little, blueberry muffin smelling kitchen. (My mom always bakes these delicious mouth-watering muffins.) He seemed to realize that something was wrong. He hugged me.
"Don't worry Lily." He said. "It is ok."
"Thank you Brandon." I said smiling at him. "I love you. Remember that." Just in case I wasn't there to tell him that the next day.
"I love you too." Then he went back to his room.
The rest of the evening was decent enough. My nerves settles down a little, and I got many calls from family and friends. As many people kept telling me that I wouldn't be one of them, I started to convince myself that. My good friends won't be chosen, Matthew wouldn't be chosen, I wouldn't be chosen. The thought of Matthew started making me feel queasy. I went upstairs to my room. My room has creme colored walls, a big white bookcase right by my chocolate brown, dull desk. I saw my clothes cluttered all over the place, and papers all over my desk. My room is always a mess, but just looking at it makes me feel safe and happy. I guess this was my home. I thought, maybe this one time, I'll clean my room. I put on some sad music that I listen to whenever I felt depressed about Matthew, and I started cleaning.
Cleaning my room felt good. It occupied my mind, and singing along badly to my favorite music made me feel at the least bit happy for once.
After cleaning, I decided to take a hot shower. I used up all of the hot water, and I didn't give a fuck that I might get scolded by my dad. I enjoyed myself for about 20 minutes. For about 10 minutes though, I was reflecting. It has been a while since I've done this. I thought about my life. About everything good, and everything bad. I thought about how I started liking Matthew, when Rachel told him, when on my eleventh birthday all I thought about was him, and I thought about when he said hi to me in the hallway, everything. I know I was wet and in the shower, but I could feel myself crying. That's when I noticed that my shower was longer than time. I quickly got out.
When I lay down on my bed, my warm, comforting bed, I thought happy thoughts. For some reason, I felt magical. Then I drifted off to sleep.