Not Your Therapist

Part 5

We sat on the edge of the bed. I looked at him while he was being awkward.

"Hey.. It isn't easy for me as well.. This a first time for me. I have never felt like this before.. Specially for a...." I hanged my words while I looked down again.

"A guy." He peered his eyes to me. I nodded my head slowly. I knew he regretted this. His eyes were closed and he sighed slowly.

"Do you regret it ? " I asked him standing in front of him, a bit agitated. Did he really feel that way. Did he really feel like this was a mistake. Did he feel like I am a guy who is just curious. I waited for his answer patiently.

He looked at me. "Do you?" I said while kneeling in front of him, keeping my right hand on his knee. We locked our eyes. I stared at him for quite awhile.

He breathed in. He shook his head slowly. "You sure?" I asked him again, I needed to be sure.

He nodded. "I need words Josh. Please I need to know before anything else. Talk to me. That's all I want." I rubbed my hand on his thigh. He breathed heavily.

"I don't regret it but I think you will. You aren't gay. I am. Yes.. I may be in pain and you helped me but that doesn't mean you have to do this. I am fine. I'm a big man Ed. You don't have to worry. We can just be friends if this is way overwhelming for you.." he looked at me with serious face.

"Is that all?" I asked him

He nodded.

"Okay. I know this can be a bit sudden but I think I like you Josh. I don't know how and I don't know when and I don't know why. But I do. And I don't regret this. But if you do wanna start off being friends first and know each other before.. I don't mind at all." I said while I caressed his cheek, sitting on my knees in front of him.

He smiled.

"I would like that, Yeah. You know.. For a 19 year old, you're quite matured for your age." He said touching my wrist. I smiled wide.

"Well, for a therapist you aren't that good." I said narrowing my eyes. He laughed, so did I.

I stood up and sat beside him on the edge of the bed.

"How old are you?" I asked being curious.

"25" he slowly replied.

I nodded.

"So tell me something.. " I said while I leaned behind on my back on the bed with my hands on my stomach and legs dangling on the edge.

He followed to lean back as well. He turned his head to me, listening.

"How old were you when you know.. Found out. " I brought my popped up hand and rested my head on it. Looking from above, at his eyes. He had beautiful eyes.

He looked up sideways at me. He smiled and looked at the ceiling. "I was 16 years old. It was prom night. And I had a date...A guy I liked and had pursed for a VERY LONG TIME." He chuckled. I smiled. He continued.

"So he kinda was shy.. I told my parents the night he was gonna come to pick me up. They were a bit taken back, umm..lets not talk about that. And yeah.. That was the story.. " He finished.

"What happened to the guy..? Why aren't you guys together..?" I asked him quietly.

He pierced his lips in a hard line. He was hesitating. I waited for him. I looked at him. He sighed.

"We had sex after few months and I guess he didn't like it.. ? He broke up with me." He looked up at the ceiling.

"Bad breakup ?" I raised my eye brow.

"Awful.." He said closing his eyes. I bet he saw him in front of his eyes. I sulked. I didn't want that.

I felt guilty. I placed my hand on his chin to move to face it to me. To look at me. He was teary. He looked up at me.

I leaned down to place my lips on his. I softly kissed him, placing my hand on his cheek. Comforting him. He grabbed my head with his fingers, playing with it. I pulled away looking at him with a smile. He looked dazed.

"Better.. ?" I asked him with a smile.

"Much better." He smiled. 

"Wasn't he the top ?" I leaned back at my back asking him

He turned towards me with wide eyes. "How did you know that?" He asked me being shocked.

I smiled keeping quiet placing my hand behind my head and one hand on my tummy.

He shook me, "Tell me!" He asked being impatient.

I laughed a bit, not answering. He grew irritated. He hovered over me, sitting on my lap and leaned down on my face. I looked at him a bit surprised. I was hard.

I placed my hand on his waist. He pulled it up beside my head, keeping it there. Locking it, while he asked a surprised me. "Tell me.." He asked slowly warning me inches away from my face.

"It's not difficult to know that.. I just knew it.. It's a feeling.. " I spoke back.

"Bullshit.. This is coming from a straight guy. Really? You want me to believe that..?" He asked me with an annoying face.

I untwisted my hand to push him down and climb on him to keep my legs beside each side of his waist. He breathed hard. I placed my hands with his, intertwined our fingers beside his head. Locking them tightly. I leaned down and kissed him, kissed his soft lips. He leaned up a bit slightly to gain more access. I allowed. We sucked each other playfully. I smiled while kissing him. I could get used to this. I pulled away while he leaned his head up to kiss me again. I kissed him hard, pushing him down again with force. We pulled away breathlessly. He looked at me without fighting. I smiled looking at him down.

"This is why.. " I said looking at him, leaning down slowly rubbing my lips with his.

He flushed red. He smiled leaning sideways. I smiled. I kissed his exposed neck. He shivered. Slowly kissing his soft skin, I moved to his jawline, biting it. He moaned. We both felt each other bulge in our pants. He closed his eyes, sinking everything in. I smiled pulling away from the mess I was creating. He looked at me when He couldn't feel me anymore.

"I thought you wanted to take it slow.." I smirked.

"Shutup..." He said with a pout and pushed me sideways getting embarrassed. I laughed looking at him. I leaned back on the bed, laying down. He stood up, straightening up. I was still chuckling while I saw him.

He took his bag and walked towards my bedroom door. I leaned up on my arm looking at his back. He opened the door
and halted.

"Can you be my therapist ?" I asked him

"I don't date my patients..." He said while I stared at his back.

I smiled wide. "So we're dating...hmm..Smooth." I smirked.

He sighed, looking defeated. He looked back at me. I was smiling like an idiot.

"Real mature Ed.. I'll give you a number. She is really good." He said with a raised eyes.

"A lady.. Hmm Possessive much ?" I narrowed my eyes with a smile.

"Shut up. I am not 19.. You are. She is good.. Not many failures.." He said while turning again. I smiled wide. I knew he was.

"And Yes, we are dating." He said without looking at me and walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

I chuckled. "Haaaa....Damn..." I sighed falling down behind happily looking at the ceiling. I was smiling. Since a long time, I had a strange yet beautiful feeling in my heart.