The Calm Before The Storm

6.

"Dear Quin,

If you're reading this then something has gone horribly wrong. I wrote this letter because there are some things about me that I could not bring myself to tell you. Whenever I would leave the house I'd lay this on the dresser when you weren't in the room, and When I'd get home I would move it.

I never set out to intentionally hurt you Quin, but I thought I could outrun things from my past. I thought that starting a new life with you would work out in my best interest. But if you've found this letter then it hasn't.

I never told you, but the reason you stopped seeing me around was because I used to travel. I used to go different places to paint different things.. get the feel of new scenery and display different forms of my imagination onto my canvas.

I spent all of my savings from my Father on my travels. The last month of my doing so I stopped at a not so exotic place. This place was all about city lights, crammed spaces filled with tons of faces, and the sounds of buzzing cars driving by. New York. On a night of wondering around I met a girl. We hit it off. She was interested in photography. I showed her some of my work and she fell in love with it. It was nice to have someone appreciate the arts just as much as me. So we hung out a couple times, and she asked me to paint her. Of course I agreed. The night when I was supposed to paint her she told me that she couldn't come over.. family business. I wish I had known what that meant. She asked me to come over late one night, and I did... I'm sure you know what happened then. I should've told her that I was leaving in a couple days before we got intimate but I didn't. It was only a fling to me, but obviously she had gotten emotionally connected to me through my artwork. She thought I felt the same way about her. Then I left..

The week after I came back home it was snowing, and I saw you. I could never forget that day.. you were so cute with your piles of scarfs. I picked you up and took you to work, I was so happy to see a familiar face, and I'm pretty sure you were happy to see me too.

So.. lets get to why I had to write this letter. I got a call one day.. it was a man. I didn't get much from the call but I had to meet this man at 1:30 in the morning or something bad would happen. So I met him. It was a set up. As soon as I walked on the corner he told me to meet him at I was grabbed and pulled into a van. The ride was quiet, aside from the two men upfront murmuring to each other. I was quiet. My father always taught me to be quiet and very observant in situations like these.. his training came in handy.

We came to a stop and I was pulled out from the van. It was a warehouse. Once they got me inside i was tied down to a chair and left in a dark room. Then I heard footsteps. Big.. heavy footsteps. The light came on and I was greeted by a punch to the face. They beat me. Once they were finished my vision was blurred but I looked up and it was her... it was the girl from New York. She was standing behind a big man and they looked alike.. come to find out he was her Father. That may have been one of the worst nights of my life. I was kidnapped, beaten, and forced to deal for him all in one night. All because of a lie.

When he finally left the room she snuck back in.. she told me what she had done. She told her Father that I was one of his men and I stole money from him. By the time I left the building that night I was so bruised up I couldn't allow myself to let you see me like that. So I stayed away. I went out late at night.. I sold drugs.. I avoided you as much as my heart would allow, and I let myself down. It was never about me losing my passion for painting.. I just lost myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. I was lying to you, and it broke me. It broke my heart watching you trying to figure out what was going on in my mind.. so I painted. I painted her.. I figured I could work something out with her and then she could tell her Father the truth.

Then we made love.. and I couldn't hurt you anymore.. I couldn't stay away from you. So I stopped going out, and I stopped making drops.. which meant he was losing money. I had gotten so many threatening calls and messages that I had to go back out. I hope I can just make him his money and be through with it.

I love you Quin. You'll always be my favorite person to paint.. even if I'm painting you in the clouds."