The Calm Before The Storm

9.

Three days had passed... and I had been doing fine, but now I had to face one of my biggest fears.. the funeral.

I dragged my feet throughout my whole process of getting dressed. It seemed like the depression and pain that I had been running away from during those 3 days caught up with me. Before I could get out the door it felt like I couldn't breathe.. I felt like I was going to pass out.. hyperventilation. Another thing I was prone to, that Jamal would help me get over. Quickly I pressed my lips together and counted down from 15. I tried to stay calm and get my breathing back regular before I had a full blown panic attack.

On the drive to the church I kept thinking about slightly positive things to keep me from crying again. I had cried so much that my eyes had become used to the aches from hours and hours of sobbing. I finally got to the church and people were straggling in as I parked.

"You can do this... you got it" I took a deep breath and got out the car before I gave in and drove right back home.

Walking into the church made me feel like my body was being drained of energy with every step I took. Once I finally made it inside I tried to go to a seat in the back, but Jamals mother saw me.

She was chocolate skinned with deep eyes like Jamal. She wore her hair short and cut close to her face. I had only met her twice, but I could pick her out of a crowd any day.

"Quin..oh honeyy" she walked over and pulled me into a hug.

"Hey Ms.Joyce...how are you?" I put on my best fake smile. She knew she was wrong for the way she treated Jamal.

"I'm...Im making it. But I hope you don't think you're sitting back here. Your seat is up front with the Family"

It always amazed me how everyone became family when someone died. The only family of his I've met was his mother and his favorite cousins. So, what was everyone else doing crying over him?

Before she even walked me to the front I heard a familiar voice

"Quinnie?!" It was Daija, but we call her Dae.

I turned around quickly and was greeted by a big hug from her. If Dae was around then I know Bree and Dee were here somewhere. These were the cousins that stayed in contact with Jamal.

Dae was a writer, she had a few published books, she even had a few articles published about her being a young successful author.

Bree was the dancer of the group. Whenever the chance presented itself Bree was dancing, flipping, splitting, death dropping, and whatever else would fly through her mind. She had gone on to be a background dancer for multiple huge celebrities until she nearly broke her leg. Now she runs a dance studio.. I always said I would take a class but I've never gotten around to it.

Then there was Dee she was in the process of building her own business. She never really told us what it's about or for because she claims she lives such a "private life" She was also the one that knew everybody's business.

"Oh my godd, it's so good to see you again girl" I smiled pulling away from her embrace. "So.. where is the rest of the cous-crew?" I chuckled causing her to laugh.

"Bitc- Girl they around here somewhere running their mouth, oh there they go! Come on"

We walked towards the girls, and for some reason I happened to look over my shoulder only to be greeted by Joyce watching me. Jamal told me how she despised the girls because they always pushed Jamal to do his best with his art. They were the ones that gave him the Idea of traveling.

"BREE BITCH LOOK ITS QUIN!!" Dee hollered meeting me halfway and pulling me into a big hug. Which made a few people to stare, obviously they didn't know Dee because for everybody else this was normal. She was always the animated one.