The Calm Before The Storm

1.

October 19th 2009

To My Dearest Jamal,

He caught my eye.. something like a spider web catching a fly. Dark chocolate man who's eyes flooded with stories and pain. I should've known that he may not have been the man for me, but then.. then I saw that smile. His smile... oh that beautiful beautiful smile, truthfully, that's what got me in so much trouble. Just a smirk would cause all my troubles to wither away. Oh my god his skin? His skin was as smooth as a newborn babies behind. All of his being was perfect in my eyes. It was as if he was my north star.. I was always following him. Now I wish I had followed closer.. maybe I would've known. Maybe I would've been able to help him.  Possibly change his direction of thinking. Mama always told me that I couldn't change anybody. If I had listened to her I wouldn't be in the state he left me in. I wouldn't feel the guilt I do. This is my story.. Love Was Never Enough.. Jamal I love you....we love you.