Even though the advice Lacey gave me was great, 3 days later and I was still curled up on my recliner that we had shared and as far and moving on went, I hadn't moved at all. Physically or mentally.
The only moving I had done was move to change into the clothes Luke had borrowed and the occasional toilet break or when I got hungry I grabbed something from the fridge, but other than that I was practically just a rock.
I hadn't been on my phone, or my laptop, I hadn't even watched any tv but I'd watched Divergent a couple more times.
The only thing I'd really done was sleep, or cry, or re-run the whole night over again in my mind. If I closed my eyes and thought about it hard enough, I could picture myself and Luke sitting on the edge of the old art studio. With his arm around me and the warmth of his body heat, with nothing but the sounds of the city. It was like that was my happy place, I'd never really had a place to go to when people said that, but this was close enough, even if it did bring a roaring pain to my heart because now I knew deep down that it was all just a game to him.
Or I could picture us kissing for the first time when he had told me he liked me. The way our bodies moulded together and how he gripped the back of my thighs to hold me up when I'd wrapped my legs around him.
Maybe it was all a lie. When he said he didn't pick up girls, or when he said I was beautiful, or when he said he really liked me.
Everything about it just frustrated me. I had told him about my mum and my brother and completely opened up to him. I fucking fell for him and it was all an act.
I had the audacity to trust this random stranger.
Suddenly, I remembered him telling me about his band and practically ran to my room to retrieve my laptop. Even though I knew it would cause me more pain, I typed "5 seconds of summer" into the Youtube search bar and began my marathon of finding videos of this mysterious teenage boy.
Luke's p.o.v.
3 days.
I'd spent three days constantly thinking about Maggie.
She hadn't called or texted me, and I knew that she probably wouldn't now. I'd spent 3 days wondering what it was I'd done wrong and wondering why she hadn't called but still couldn't find a conclusion.
She was so into me, or at least I thought she was. And I was definitely into her, it had taken me 2 months to fall for Gemma and only taken me 12 hours to fall for Maggie.
Fell for her.
I wasn't going to lie to myself, because I knew that wouldn't get me anywhere.
I had fallen for Maggie over night.
She was nothing like my usual type, but that was what I liked the most about her. Ever since I could remember I'd always liked blondes and I'd always liked sporty girls but Maggie was neither. She had brown hair and she was lazy as fuck but she loved art and music and she was creative and everything I wanted. There was something about how she was so willing to be my fake girlfriend that attracted me to her immediately, she was so fun and didn't really care what people thought.
But she was only my fake girlfriend, and maybe she only wanted to have some fun and forget about it in the morning like pretty much every other girl in a club.
Girlfriend, I thought. If she did call me and we met up and went on dates, would she eventually be my girlfriend? There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted that, and that actually scared me a lot and hurt at the same time, because her actions had made it clear that she really didn't want that.
I decided to forget about her, she was going to go to her performing arts school in London and then become some big actress in loads of movies and the band would get bigger and we'd go on more tours. Maybe one day we'd meet up in the future, maybe she'd be in LA shooting for a movie while I was performing and we'd be like "oh, I remember you!" and laugh at the memory.
Our only memory.
It was hard to deny the fact that I wanted more memories and I wanted them all with her and I wanted to be a couple and I wanted to do couple things.
I wanted her.
